Yah, mule!

First it was Rick “Man on Dog” Santorum. Then it was Bill “Cat Killer” Frist. Then it was James “Spare the rod, spoil the wiener-doggie” Dobson. And then Pickles let it slip that Dubya had been masturbating stallions. Just when you think right-wingers couldn’t get any kinkier with poor defenceless animals, though, Neal Horsley decided to share with the world at large just what he used to do…with mules.

Horsley, an adulterous anti-abortion freak who wants to post on his butt-ugly website a hit list of doctors for his fellow right-wing terrorists to shoot, gives a whole new meaning to the term “country bumpkin”. He fessed up to his prior shame with great gusto; the way he talked about it, you’d think he’d never put it behind him. And poor Alan Colmes may never recover:

AC: “You had sex with animals?”

NH: “Absolutely. I was a fool. When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule.”

AC: “I’m not so sure that that is so.”

NH: “You didn’t grow up on a farm in Georgia, did you?”

AC: “Are you suggesting that everybody who grows up on a farm in Georgia has a mule as a girlfriend?”

NH: It has historically been the case. You people are so far removed from the reality… Welcome to domestic life on the farm…”

Um, Neal? We’re not the ones who have trouble telling the mules from the humans. We’re also not the ones advocating doctor-murder on the Internet. We’re not the ones in denial of our sexual identities, or the ones who pretend that juvenile bestiality is normal just because it’s common in the dumber parts of the country. Who’s far removed from reality, again?

Apparently, an awful lot of farmboys in Georgia. Particularly Neal Horsley, R-Mulesticker.

I guess this explains why those rightards are all so confused between homosexuality and bestiality. They practice both simultaneously. No wonder same-sex marriage scares them and they think it means that next, you’ll be allowed to marry Bowzer or Bessie or your pet goat…

Oh. Oh dear. I just had a thought I really don’t want to have…about Dubya and what he was reading during those seven infamous minutes on September 11.


Thank heaven we have the Neal Horsleys of this world to prevent THAT from happening.

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