Hooters Air goes tits-up

Well, we could see this coming from waaaay off in the distance. Just like a cheap pair of silicone boobies…

Using planes operated by Pace, Hooters Air launched its first scheduled flights from Myrtle Beach to Atlanta on March 6, 2003.

Brooks’ planes not only advertised his Hooters restaurants but became one of the Grand Strand’s more unusual promotional tools, with its fleet of orange-and-white Boeing jets.

The chairman of Hooters of America – the international restaurant chain known for its chicken wings and female servers dressed in snug T-shirts and orange shorts – said he hoped to “have a little fun” in an industry that had always fascinated him.

In July, the airline served 15 destinations, including nonstop flights to Nassau, Bahamas.

But high fuel prices and other challenges in the airline industry brought the fun to an end.

“The flying industry is in a terrible mess,” Brooks said. “I’ve got a fair amount of money, but I don’t have enough to fix this animal.”

Especially since airlines that depend on sexy stewardesses for a draw have long been an anachronism. No one seriously gives a shit for that anymore…and anyone who does, should frankly stay off airplanes, as he’s likely to be drunk and obnoxious all the time. That’s one thing his fellow fliers could cheerfully do without.

Plus, in the post-9/11 era, the last thing you want is a pair of falsies staring you in the face; what you really crave is competence and reassurance. In other words, a flight attendant just like the skinny, take-no-shit, “Noo Yawk”-accented granny I had on my last flight home from Minneapolis. She was no surgically-enhanced spring chicken, but by Goddess, she made me feel safe. No terrorist would dare whip out a box cutter on HER watch!

And, needless to say, the airline I flew on was NOT Hooters. I’d no more fly their airline than I would eat their greasy food. The only hooters that should be flying are the kind that feed on mice.

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