How the Hardcore Stupid “think”…in Utah

The NY Times found out something we all already knew about the Mormon State…namely, that people there are strikingly unidimensional, in the sense of being faith-based to a fault. And nowhere is that more evident than in their “thoughts” on Dubya:

“When I watch him, I see a man with his heart in the right place,” said Delia Randall, a 22-year-old mother from Provo, the hub of a county that gave Senator John Kerry just 11 percent of the presidential vote in 2004. “I like George Bush because he is God fearing, and that’s how a lot of people in this area feel.”

So God-fearing that no one’s ever seen him set foot in church, and no one seems to care?

“I’m against the war in Iraq — and what happened with Hurricane Katrina, well, it was a failure by everybody,” said Ron Craft, a sales manager in Provo who said he was a devout Mormon and a strong conservative who considered himself independent politically. “I tend to judge a person by their character. And President Bush reminds me of President Reagan. He’s a man of principle.”

Item: Reagan was the first (and to date, only) divorced US president. And Wife #2 was just a wee bit pregnant when he tied the knot with her.

All of the administration’s perceived failures, including the Iraq war, Hurricane Katrina and the budget deficit, go through a different filter in these Bush strongholds. Sounding a familiar theme, Mr. Craft said he was distrustful of news media portrayals of Mr. Bush because “they concentrate too much on the negative and certain small things.”

So, enlighten us: which of these things are “small”–Hurricane Katrina, the Iraq quagmire, or the budget deficit? Mr. Craft???

“He’s strong, and he doesn’t waver,” said Jaren Olsen, 18, a freshman at Brigham Young, the nation’s largest religiously affiliated private university, who is from Albany. “I like that he is for the family, that marriage should only be between a man and woman. And the war, we need to finish what we started.”

No, Jaren, Bush doesn’t waver. He flip-flops. BIG difference!

As for being for “the” family–whose? Certainly not the one my gay best friend is trying to make for himself. Marriage between a man and a woman is NOT “pro-family” by itself; just ask Britney Spears’ first husband, who was lawfully wedded to her for all of two days.

And the war? Tell me…how close IS he to finishing what he started? And when are you gonna sign up to go help him finish it? You’re prime meat, after all, Jaren. And Republicans, like Mormons, are grossly underrepresented among the grunts…

Another student at Brigham Young, Danielle Pulsipher, a junior, offered blanket approval of the president. Asked to name which of his actions as president she liked most, she was hard-pressed to answer.

“I’m not sure of anything he’s done, but I like that he’s religious — that’s really important,” Ms. Pulsipher said.

Wow! There’s a ringing endorsement if ever I heard one!

“This is a community committed to faith, family and freedom, and that translates to consistent popularity for George Bush,” said Mayor Lewis K. Billings of Provo.

“People here like so much of what George Bush has done,” Mr. Billings said. “I think he’s got support on almost everything — except immigration.”

Translation: We’re fascist here, and we think he’s not fascist enough when it comes to those tequila-niggers.

“I like his honesty,” said Allison Wilkey, a mother of three.

Poor Allison. I bet that if you asked her to name an actual instance in which he was honest, she’d draw a blank too.

“There is this puritanical strain when it comes to thrift here, and one of the dominant themes is to get out of debt,” said Joseph A. Cannon, the chairman of the State Republican Party. “So people wonder why we, the Republicans, control every branch of government and yet we can’t stay out of debt.”

And yet those people just can’t keep wondering long enough to flip the OTHER lever in the polling booth for a change.

That, by definition, is insanity.

It is also Hardcore Stupidity.

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