TPM Cafe infiltrated by right-wing nutters?

Sure smells that way. And if I were them, I’d be a little more concerned about the credibility of the site, and not let anything like this go up without a big, fat disclaimer–or better still, a hazardous-waste warning label:


Whilst the typical armchair-American relaxes in front of the ‘Telly’ and devours another quality segment of prime-time reality, there are nations across the world – diverse in language, religion, and culture – that share one common bond, one multi-threaded scheme; the dismantling and utter destruction of the United States of America.

What used to be an assortment of unhinged ‘evil-doers’, widely spread rogue-nation-states, jungle-loving revolutionary rebels, militant extremist political parties, radical Islamofascist fundamentalists and a whole ensemble of freelance terrorist and anarchist summer camps are now uniting under the auspices of Venezuela’s President Hugo Chávez, the self-declared savior from the ravages of American imperialism.

El Presidente Chávez obviously must have a script, a master ‘evil doer’ plan else how on earth can he keep up with all the associations, promises, obligations, check-writing and planned speeches he has to deliver to each of his ministries of hate? His reach is quite impressive:

– For the ‘Axis of Evil’: He has reached out to and supplied each of the ‘Axis of Evil’ member states (Iran, Syria, North Korea) with offers of political support, economic aid, oil-pacts, military investments or a whole piñata full of anti-American speeches and provocations.

– For China: massive oil-pact, military purchase programs and intelligence-sharing enterprises against American interests around the world.

– For central and South American nations: the establishment of a trade pact called ALBA – ‘Bolivarian Alternative for the Americas’ – to counter the US-pushed Free Trade Area of the Americas (FTAA)

– For revolutionary rebels in Central and South America: Financial and military aid to communist militant groups in settled democratic countries throughout the region.

– For the São Paulo Forum: An informal association of socialist and extreme left-wing political organizations from all across the Americas with one shared ideology and ambition; to influence regional elections to encourage the establishment of socialist governments throughout the region.

– For the Islamofascist terrorists: the offer of aid and comfort in a warm climate – with sandy beaches, wide-open space for exercise facilities and spiritual retreats.

– For the worlds arms industry: the opportunity to sell state-of-the-art weaponry at petrol-dollar inflated prices. This includes arms-dealers from Russia, China and even Israel!

– For low-income families in New York and New Jersey: heavily discounted heating oil delivered by Venezuela’s CITGO as witnessed by progressive politicians and timely reporters and TV crews.

– For Cindy Sheehan – mother, ignorant and immoral peace-activist: hugs and an ATM check card.

As Cuba’s Fidel Castro lays sick and potentially dying – Hugo Chávez has assumed the mantle of leadership from the Godfather of communism and, with the aid of Venezuela’s massive oil income, is building influence and uniting every anti-American entity for one sole ambition, the destruction of the United States of America and the irradiation of its global influence.

These poorly written, bombastic rantings are not the product of extensive research or deep thought, obviously. They are no more than regurgitations of the usual racist rat droppings you’ll find if you have the stomach to go dumpster diving anywhere in Freeperlandia. I wasn’t a bit surprised, on checking the profile of the author, that he’s only been on TPMC for a week and a day. That’s the hallmark of the 101st Flying Keyboard Division: shit and run.

What’s truly rich, though, is that this freepish lout isn’t the usual flag-waving Yank. He’s a Brit, recently naturalized. How to tell? Well, even if he didn’t come out with it lower down in the comments section, the penchant for briticisms like “whilst”, “petrol” and “telly” is a pretty good giveaway, as is the persistent usage of single quotation marks, rather than the standard American double quotes. A redcoat playing Paul Revere! Monty Python would surely have a field day with that.

But why should he care if Chavez is “anti-American” (which, by the way, he has gone to considerable lengths proving he is NOT)? If he’s so scared of the menacing Mr. Chavez, why not pack it in and go back to the relative safety of Merry Old England, instead of soiling himself all over what’s supposed to be a PROGRESSIVE blogsite? Perhaps we’re supposed to find this Chickenhawk Little more convincing if he cheeps with a plummy British accent. But I wouldn’t lay good odds on the veracity of “opinionist”, as he styles himself, until I see evidence that this self-righteous accuser of “armchair-Americans”, no doubt comfortably opinionizing from his own armchair, has had his arse shot off fighting terror someplace other than his own muddled head.

Oh, you think I’m being too harsh on the poor widdle bloke? Look. He’s trying so hard to convince us that “Islamofascism” (a strictly imaginary bird) is in league with “Castro-communism”, which is supposedly still a menace even though ol’ Fidel is unwell and Cuba is coping with heavy economic restrictions. That, my friends, is muddleheadedness right there.

Moreover, Islam and fascism are not allies any more than fascism and communism ever were. If there is any fascism to be found in today’s world, it is squarely aligned against Islam, not with it. Likewise, any communism still extant today would be aligned against fascism, and vice versa–not with it! Think it through, people: two diametrically opposed political ideologies, plus one religion that has nothing in common with either. What common ground could they possibly share? America? Oh, puh-leeze–America itself is under the dominion of the most fascistic White House squatter ever. To believe, therefore, that fascism, communism and Islam are now banding together in some kind of grand alliance of evil is to be a nutter of the nuttiest degree.

What is really going on is not the world “uniting against America”, but country after country rebelling of its own accord against the de facto dictatorship of Washington and multinational corporations. The non-aligned countries are still just that. But now they are aware that their lack of alignment is their worst vulnerability, and they are looking to close the gap through trading and diplomatic alliances with one another, so they will be less dependent on the would-be monopole of the “free” world.

Add to that the fact that Latin American nations are reforming themselves, not through violence and communist indoctrination as our doomsayer fears, but through peaceful, democratic revolutions in which the people are electing not only radical presidents, but also assemblies who will rewrite their constitutions on more egalitarian lines. Happened in Venezuela, is happening in Bolivia, and is now about to happen in Ecuador as well. Dangerous? Only in the delusional brains of those with deeply antidemocratic tendencies.

The fact that these countries are also conducting trade with Cuba, rather than acquiescing to a US-mandated embargo against it, is nothing to be alarmed about. If, as I suspect is the case, Cuba is on the verge of transitioning to full democracy (rather than the current limited degree), it will be
with the help of Latin American friends, not through the barrels of Yankee guns. And it will be conducted peacefully, with diplomacy and fair trade, and probably a great deal of consultation with political advisors from those lands. Who could object to that but–well, a muddle-head?

I thought capitalist rightards were supposed to be all in favor of democracy, trade and international commerce, but apparently that’s only the case if the advantage is all to the United States as the sole, undeclared owner of the country in question. But if too many locals benefit, and there’s a disconcerting lack of peasant exploitation and authoritarian crackdown, presumbly that’s evil wicked communism. Or evil wicked terrorism. Or some unholy combination of both–take your pick. Our “opinionist” seems to have trouble making up his mind as to which it is–again, evidence of a sorely muddled head.

Most intelligence-insulting of all, though, is the claim that Chavez is harboring Islamist terrorists. In Venezuela, where they are presumably sitting poised to attack on his command with dirty bombs. How on Earth does he manage to do that–in a country which is predominantly Catholic and where even his most ardent supporters are undoubtedly very suspicious of any Islamist element? He must be an incredibly subtle plotter, for there’s absolutely no evidence of it anywhere. Except of course in the fever-ravaged brains of nutters who are trying to do on progressive sites what professional crapagandists are doing in the mainstream media.

Share this story:
This entry was posted in Crapagandarati, Huguito Chavecito, The Hardcore Stupid. Bookmark the permalink.