Hey Chuck Norris: Shut up and sing, dammit!

Grab your barf bags, folks. Chuck Norris has reared his weaselly little head, and given me one more reason to utterly despise him:


In case you can’t recall where you last saw that face, the TV show was “Walker, Texas Ranger”–in which the eponymous “hero”, played by Norris, basically took the law in his own hands, beating the shit out of everyone who got in his way. (I often wonder if Connecticut Cowboy Dubya takes “Walker” as his model; certainly he acts that way.)

As to Norris’s theory that the US was “founded on Christian principles”–why no, it wasn’t. Behold, the Treaty of Tripoli–which states, among other things:

Art. 11. As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquillity, of Mussulmen; and, as the said States never entered into any war, or act of hostility against any Mahometan nation, it is declared by the parties, that no pretext arising from religious opinions, shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries.

The author of the treaty is one Joel Barlow, a diplomat to the Barbary Coast, as northern Africa was known in the late 1700s. This treaty was signed and endorsed by no less a figure than John Adams, then the first US Vice President and president of the US Senate, and soon to become the second President (he was succeeded in 1800 by Thomas Jefferson). You cannot get a much better endorsement than that, unless you get it from George Washington himself. If you look in the bible for that, though, you won’t find anything like it. Damn shame, really, when you consider that Chuck Norris endorses it as a history text!

What? A peace treaty with the nations of northern Africa isn’t enough for ya, Chuck? Well, then, maybe the Supremacy Clause of the US Constitution should be the final word:

This Constitution, and the Laws of the United States which shall be made in Pursuance thereof; and all Treaties made, or which shall be made, under the authority of the United States, shall be the supreme Law of the land; and the Judges in every State shall be bound thereby, any Thing in the Constitution or Laws of any State to the Contrary notwithstanding.

“All Treaties made”–surely that includes the Treaty of Tripoli, made in 1796-7.

Honestly, I wish Chuck had stuck to acting in tiresome beat-’em-ups. But you’ll never hear a rightard telling Chuck to shut up and sing. They’re still too busy terrorizing the Dixie Chicks. And way too busy forgetting what their own constitution actually says.

Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmail
This entry was posted in Crapagandarati, Good to Know, Isn't That Illegal?, Law-Law Land, Pissing Jesus Off, The Nausea, The WTF? Files, W is for Weak (and Stupid). Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Hey Chuck Norris: Shut up and sing, dammit!

  1. Dana says:

    I can’t stand him either! Also, he is looking more and more fake and robotic every time I ss him!

Comments are closed.