Dicking around with definitions

Just ten of the ways Mr. Cheney is a dick

And speaking of ways Dick can kill, get a load of what he’s done to his own fucking job description:

The Office of Vice President Dick Cheney told an agency within the National Archives that for purposes of securing classified information, the Vice President’s office is not an ‘entity within the executive branch’ according to a letter released Thursday by the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform.

“The Oversight Committee has learned that over the objections of the National Archives, you exempted the Office of the Vice President from the presidential executive order that establishes a uniform, government-wide system for safeguarding classified national security information,” Rep. Henry Waxman (D-CA), the Committee’s chairman, wrote in a letter to Cheney. “Your decision to exempt your office from the President’s order is problematic because it could place national security secrets at risk. It is also hard to understand given the history of security breaches involving officials in your office.”

Or, in plain English, it really depends what your definition of “is” is, doesn’t it, Dick?

Why all this sudden relativism and situational-ethicism from the far right, which is supposed to eschew such wishy-washy stuff as being for libruls? Well, it could have something to do with the outing of a certain blond CIA NOC who is married to a certain ambassador, who in turn wrote a certain article proving the Big Dick to be a Big Liar. That kind of thing is highly illegal if you’re in the Executive Branch of the United States government.

But legality, schmegality. Clearly the Big Dick didn’t write his own name on Dubya’s ticket just so he would then be forced to obey the law and serve the people. You don’t go to such extraordinary lengths for power only to have it curbed by such a trifling thing as law, seems to be the Big Dick’s modus pensandi. No, when you’re in the Executive Branch, you get to write your own damn law.

Or in this case, your own damn definition of what the Executive Branch is.

But–oopsie!–that means denying that the Executive Branch is the Executive Branch!

Is anyone besides me being reminded unpleasantly of Torquemadito Gonzales and his absurdly narrow definition of torture?

And speaking of torture, how much more of this can law and language bear? It’s bad enough to hear Dubya mangling English so blatantly. One expects it of him; he’s Karl Rove’s finger puppet, and dumber than dogshit–so dumb, in fact, that he can’t even repeat what’s in his earpiece accurately. But the Big Dick doesn’t have ignorance as his excuse, and that’s what’s most worrying about all this.

Well, that and Dubya’s icky-poo retroactive declaration of dictatorship. Behind which I also smell the pudgy hand of Rove, or Cheney, or both.

Oh, and the fact that impeachment is still off the table!

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