We all live in a Brazilian submarine

Everybody sing! “Brazilian submarine, Brazilian submarine…”

And our friends are all on board; many more of them live next door. And the band begins to play…

This month’s discovery of a monster offshore oil reserve justifies Brazil’s plan to build a nuclear submarine because it would be used to protect the find, the defense minister said.

“When you have a large natural source of wealth discovered in the Atlantic, it’s obvious you need the means to protect it,” Nelson Jobim said Thursday at a defense conference in Rio de Janeiro.

Jobim said Brazil must safeguard the Tupi field and its 5 billion to 8 billion barrels of oil reserves from other nations and from “actions that could come from the area of terror,” the government’s Agencia Brasil news service reported.


Brazil has been talking about building a nuclear submarine for decades, but the project got a boost in July when President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva announced $540 million in funding for uranium enrichment and the sub program.

Jobim said earlier this month that he wants to come up with an outline within three months to build a submarine for about $1.2 billion, the Agencia Estado news service reported.

Brazil has no South American enemies and has not experienced terrorist attacks, although U.S. government reports have sporadically raised suspicions that the nation’s Triple Border region near Argentina and Paraguay is a fundraising source for radical Islamic groups such as Hezbollah and Hamas.

O my brothers (and sisters), your humble narrator and oomny cheena is a fine laughing devotchka tonight. Notice how they say Brazil has no South American enemies, and contemplate if you will the implications of that. (Hint: its North American enemy isn’t Canada!)

Notice, too, how this barely rates an alarm bell, since it’s about Brazil and not Venezuela? Hint: It’s the oil, stupid. Brazil has comparatively little and is only just a net exporter. (Oops, I guess THAT is about to change.)

That bit about the terrorist funding from the Triple Frontier is also good for a laugh and a half. There’s a lot of crime in that region, to be sure, but it’s not related to terrorism. Try smuggling, particularly drugs. And you know who would be only too happy to plant a military base there?

Take a wild guess.

Since Rafael Correa is kicking them out of Ecuador, they are desperate for a new place to squat. And of course, there’s that rather large ranch that Jenna Bush recently “bought” in Paraguay. It is rather conveniently located.

Maybe Brazil will have to arm that nuclear sub after all.

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