U can’t mock dis…

So I showed this article to the friendly BoRev guy to see what he thought, and go figure, he couldn’t do nothin’ with it. His precise words were, and I quote,

Wow. This is really dishonest reporting. Jesus I can’t even mock this piece of shit. Congratulations Miami Herald, I CAN’T EVEN MOCK THIS PIECE OF SHIT. You win.

So you know it’s gotta be good, right? Or bad. Or superfly.

Anyhows…I figured this might be a job for Your Humble One. After all, she never met a piece of shit she couldn’t mock. Especially meretricious and blatant shit like this:

Sfeir and his wife started the station in their garage four years ago, eventually bankrolling its expansion to the small warehouse studio with more than $150,000 from the sale of the family’s Doral home. Now the cash has run out.

Other fundraising attempts have failed. Because it is controversial, Venezuelan businesses inside the country will not advertise. U.S. foundations have turned down grant requests. Many of the Venezuelans living in South Florida fled their country’s ideological controversies and left family behind and so they shy away from politics.

Without a cash infusion, the station will go dark within a few months.

What…don’t tell me your rich uncle NED won’t come through, guys! I thought that guy’s pockets were bottomless. Oh wait, I guess that’s just for traitors WITHIN Venezuela. If you’re in Florida, you’re shit out of luck.

Seriously, though: You want capitalist “freedom”, people? There ya go; you’re soaking in it. You want independence and the right to be your own man? Congrats, you’re now free to go broke for it, preferably through a sub-prime mortgage. Florida is a capitalist paradise, so why are you kvetching? Nobody throwing you money so you can go on broadcasting bullshit? Well, then, maybe you better start working for the US government. They’ve always got openings for your kind in the State Dept., or so I hear. Such brave souls, doing it all from Florida instead of staying behind to fight…

And what’s this about “controversial”? There’s no controversy here; this station is and always has been pro-coup. That’s not “controversial”, it’s ILLEGAL. You can’t advocate for democracy by advocating a coup against a democratically elected leader, as this station does:

In the weeks before the December referendum, Johann Peña dedicated several of his Dossiers programs to a crash course in “How to conspire against Chávez and survive the attempt.”

A former police officer in Venezuela, he taught listeners ways to foil surveillance attempts. He suggested chemicals that would help them overcome the effects of tear gas. He described how to send messages covertly by taping notes to park benches and tables.

That’s about equal parts illegal and just plain pathetic. You can conspire to overcome tear gas by covertly taping notes to park benches and tables! Yow!

And speaking of the eminently mockable, how about this?

The most popular program is Sfeir’s own A Little Time With You evening show. The freewheeling affair ranges from the ruckus — Sfeir and his co-hosts joking about Chávez’s nursing habits as an infant — to the serious, such as an interview with U.S. Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen on her efforts to have the State Department declare the Venezuelan government a sponsor of terrorism.

“…joking about Chavez’s nursing habits as an infant”? That’s pretty sad. If that’s all they got on him, I can see why they’re about to go dark and not enough suckers brave pro-democracy activists are throwing money at them.

And Ileana Ros-Lehtinen? Now THAT’s funny. Remember, she’s the woman who said this:

And she wants the Venezuelan government declared a state sponsor of terrorism? I think that with her, charity should start a bit closer to home. Starting with her protecting Luis Posada Carriles. Nice job the Miami Whore-Herald did of atoning for its rare, honest reporting on that terrorist, too. But then again, for a paper with known CIA ties, is that so very surprising, any of it?

Honestly, I don’t know whether to laugh or go blind.

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