John Fund: So stupid in so many ways

How wrong can one man get in three paragraphs? How low can the Wall Street Journal sink? Kiddies, you’re about to find out…Dr. Becker has her dissecting gloves on.

It’s not been a good month for Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chávez. He had to do an about-face and call on the Marxist guerrilla group FARC to stop trying to overthrow the government of neighboring Colombia, lay down its arms and release its 700 hostages. But that head fake came only after evidence surfaced that Mr. Chávez had actually offered FARC leaders $300 million to support their terrorist operations and had even given them their own nameplate on an office in Venezuela’s Pentagon.

Now Mr. Chávez has trouble on the domestic front. Marisabel Rodríguez, the former first lady of Venezuela whom Mr. Chávez divorced in 2004, announced she will run for mayor of one of Venezuela’s most important cities in November local elections. She will run as an opposition candidate because she wants to “change the face and way of doing politics in this city and this country,” she told reporters.

The candidacy of Ms. Rodríguez, a public relations executive, will no doubt revive stories about the couple’s messy divorce. She is apparently a past master at psychological warfare against her ex-husband. “Marisabel doesn’t hesitate to talk about Chávez on TV while holding their daughter, and that is the kind of tactic the opposition likes because to fight a media figure like Chávez you need to shock people in some way,” says Arturo Serrano, a political scientist, told Britain’s Guardian newspaper.

Idiocies in italics.

Memo to Rush Limbaugh’s ghostwriter: Gawd, you suck. Let us enumerate the ways…


1. The “dictator” was elected. Repeatedly. What the hell kind of dictatorship is that?

2. Chavecito did not “have to do an about-face”, because he has never been pro-FARC. If anything, it’s the other way around: the FARC are pro-Chavez. His position on the Colombian guerrillas has remained the same since he was first posted to the Colombian border regions in his military days. He’s not happy about their violence spilling over into Venezuela, any more than he likes the fact that wealthy Venezuelan land-owners are using Colombian paramilitaries as mercenaries and to help plot coups against him. He also has proof that the Colombian army has invaded Venezuela, illegally, on numerous occasions. Why would he be in favor of a group that brings so much trouble into Venezuela?

3. The $300 million bullshit is long debunked. Get with the program. The entire laptop story is a fake, and I have proof.

4. A “nameplate on an office in Venezuela’s Pentagon”? What corner of your colon did you pull that one from? There’s nothing of the sort at Fuerte Tiuna. But there did use to be a US military office in there, which is very sniffy; does Venezuela have an office in the actual Pentagon?

5. Who divorced whom? And when? According to Bart Jones‘s book, it was Madame Nhu Marisabel who walked out, less than two months after the coup in April 2002. (She buggered off in June.) I don’t know who filed the papers, but the point is probably moot.

6. Marisabel doesn’t want to “change the way politics works” in Venezuela, unless you mean she wants to go back to the way it was. Which is to say, corrupt, slow, and generally dumber than dog snot. A change of face never meant anything under Puntofijismo. All it meant was the same shit from another asshole. Guess who is really changing the way politics works in Venezuela? Hint: He’s big and sassy and wears a red shirt. And the way he’s changing things will certainly clash with Marisabel’s bid to return to the old status quo.

7. And anyway, what change could she make as a mayor? That’s hardly running at the federal level, where the big-time action is. If she had to go up against him for president, she’d lose so badly that it wouldn’t even be worth laughing at.

8. Chavez is a “media figure”? No, he’s a PRESIDENT. She is the media figure. And if the comments I’ve seen on Aporrea are any indication, she is not exactly a wildly popular one. Her “psychological warfare” is deeply reviled, and her use of her own daughter as a pawn is also illegal under the Venezuelan child-protection law; it’s considered an invasion of privacy.

Perhaps you might want to learn Spanish, Mr. Fund. Only, if you did, you’d be redder than Chavecito’s shirt with humiliation to learn the awful truth.

And speaking of humiliation and awful truths, I still remember a juicy tale from your own past. Glass houses, Mr. Fund.

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1 Response to John Fund: So stupid in so many ways

  1. Slave Revolt says:

    These slugs can lie brazenly and with impunity–and they will not be called on it.
    Chomsky pointed up the parameters of the game a couple of decades ago with Edward Herman.
    This is crapitalism in its standard mode.
    Lying bastards.

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