Mike Malloy rips Miss Universe a new one

No, not the lady who won this year’s title. She’s just another innocent victim. The pageant itself is what gets the new orifice. And it deserves it:

Hosted in Vietnam. By Jerry Springer. Sheesh.

I dunno…what’s worse? Hosting an imperialist pageant in a former war zone of a war that was fought by peasants against imperialism, or the sheer in-yer-face tastelessness of Jerry Springer hosting said imperialist pageant in a former war zone of a war that was fought by…well, you get the picture. I mean, this shit just stinks from all angles. Not least of them being the fact that when the US buggered off out of the former Saigon (where this grand farce was hosted), they basically had to pry the hands of desperate South Vietnamese would-be refugees off the helicopter skids as they took off from the embassy roof. The Americans tried to enforce imperialism after the French failed to do it. And then, when the Americans couldn’t go the French any better, they abandoned their local allies to the Red Menace. And now the Red Menace has gone capitalist, and those same menacing little people are now putting on their best silk PJs and Buddha-like smiles, and hosting Miss Universe. Charming!

And of course, there was this lovely pratfall, ushered in by Vietnamese disco dancers in full ao dai:

But hey, at least Miss USA fell with poise–she got up clapping like Vanna White! WTF was that all about? “Oops, I just fell on my well-toned ass, but please, applaud me anyway!”?

Kind of emblematic of the whole lame concept, if you ask me.

PS: Thanks to Malmo Blue of Equal Radio for faithfully YouTubing all the fun and frivolity on Mike’s show–with appropriate pictures added!

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