More people who need to just fuck off NOW, if you please


1. Focus on the Fuckery. They showed their “family values” by spending moocho dinero on Proposition Hate. Now they’re laying off staff. I should be grateful, I suppose, that they aren’t converging on Washington in private LearJets to beg for a bailout. But what I really wish is that they would (a) focus on their own fam-damnily for a change (i.e. the workers they’re screwing) and (b) JUST FUCK OFF!

2. All you fucking fuckheads in Freeperville who fucked Dan Rather. Guess what, y’all: He had your boy’s number all along. Aren’t you ashamed? No? Well, then FUCK OFF! You wouldn’t know good reporting if it bit your ass off, and I hope it bites off more than that.

3. Newty Fucking Gingrich. As if it wasn’t enough that he fucked over not one, but two former wives to marry his respective mistresses (watch out, #3!), now he’s accusing gays and secular humanists of “fascism”. He’s a fine one to talk; he’s the one that made up that fucking fascist word list to smear innocent people and decent politics out of existence. Hey Newt:


4. Evita Perón Marisabel WHO? A threat to WHOM? I don’t know who should fuck off first, the soap-opera queen or the anglo media who keep touting her as the antidote to that evil, toxic Chavecito. Does anyone take her prospects seriously, besides these clueless anglos? The big guy is doing his due diligence. What’s SHE doing? Going around shaking hands, kissing babies–and uttering forgettable platitudes, when not turning around and accusing Venezuela’s most pro-woman president ever of being a machista. Yeah, that’s a winning strategy. Oh well, on Monday morning, reality will dawn, and she will have to go home to her tennis pro and STFU about Chavecito again.

5. Ayman al-Fucking Zawahiri. Excuse me, what did you call Barack Obama again? A “house negro”? For what–acknowledging the pluralistic politics of his country, instead of trying to convert it all to Islam against its will? People like you give a venerable faith a bad name. And just who the fuck are you, old man, to call up the name of Malcolm X? There’s a word for what you’re doing, and it is HERESY. Or, if you want to put it in Arabic, fitna. Fuck off, already, and let the Americans heal their own religious divisions without resort to your absurd vision of theocratic monoculture.

6. Conrad Fucking Black. I know that concepts like justice and accountability are foreign to the filthy fucking rich (who got that way by filthily fucking everything and everyone in sight), but could Lord Convict please try to understand the meaning of the words, even if they’re not as polysyllabic as he can get? And failing that, would he kindly refrain from asking for undeserved clemency, and just FUCK OFF?

7. The little fucking godbags who went to the Castro District in San Francisco to rub the gays’ noses in it when Proposition Hate passed. If y’all are so all-fired Christian and all, why don’t you go show you really do love your neighbors–your GAY neighbors–by refraining from preaching bullshit at them? And if you don’t like them, or what they do in the privacy of their own bedrooms, fine–be that way if you want, but just stay out of the neighborhoods where they live. No one asked you to bring your fraudulent, false gospel of bigotry in there. Straights are welcome in the gay community; I know that from experience, because everytime I’ve ever been in the Church/Wellesley area of Toronto, I was made welcome regardless of my orientation. Maybe that’s because I didn’t go in there to preach at them and deliberately incite violence. I went to socialize, to shop, and to just soak up the friendly atmosphere without fear or judgment. Can y’all do that too? And if you can’t, then just FUCK OFF.

8. Roger Fucking Stone. He doesn’t regret dirty politicking, but he DOES regret helping Bush get elected via…that very thing? Gee, talk about regrets that ring hollow. And then he makes the lame excuse that he was doing it because he owed some other Repug fucker a favor? No excuses, Roger–you know you wanted to do it. You know you liked it. You would still do it in a heartbeat if anyone else tapped you for a “favor”. Why? Because you’re just plain perverted that way. You get off on it. And that makes you culpable. Go fuck yourself, you freak.

9. The entire fucking Prince/De Vos clan. For funding hate and spreading war throughout the world. May the demons play soccer with their heads in hell, if a hell there is. (Personally, I don’t believe in hells, but for people like this I’ll cheerfully make an exception–or nine.)

10. The fucking CIA. There are more reasons for this than you can shake a stick at, but let’s just say this one really takes the biscuit. Shootdowns of innocent aircraft over South America, all with CIA “help”? This ain’t the gang that couldn’t shoot straight, it’s the gang that can’t fucking stop shooting! Too bad they aren’t doing it in their own mouths.

11. This bunch of fucking ex-Bolivian racists in Washington, DC. Not only can they not accept that Evo won legitimately, they also can’t accept that he’s doing a better job in his sleep than a dozen of them could do hopped-up on triple espresso. And how do they express their “disagreement” with his politics? By lobbing racist insults at some indigenous dancers who happened to accompany Evo to the event. Srsly, people, what the fuck is wrong with you? Besides the obvious, that is?

12. The fucking DEA. Bugging Evo’s phone? What were they expecting to accomplish with that? I have no idea, but they haven’t accomplished anything–other than get their worthless drug-smuggling asses kicked out of Bolivia. And about fucking time. Now, if only all the OTHER countries where they operate could tell them to fuck off, too.

13. The Big Three Fucking Auto Execs. For showing up to beg for bailouts…in private fucking LearJets. Meanwhile, who’s bailing out their “downsized” employees, who’ve had to rely on subprime mortgages to furnish for them what the Big Three Profiteering Bastards could and would not? This is right up there with the big AIG bailout bash at that fancy resort, BTW.

14. The rich fuckers at the so-called National Review, or as I like to call it, the National Re-Pew. They want MONEY for their stinkin’ crap? They should give all their readers and sponsors their money back. And just go fuck themselves already.

15. That motherfucking fucker who beat up two lesbian moms outside their kid’s school in Oshawa (and in front of the kid!) right after Prop Hate made the news. Was he emboldened by the passing of the worst bill of the year? You fucking betcha. I hope he gets a cellmate who really likes him, if you know what I mean.

16. And finally, any fouquetards du jour whom I happen to have missed. Including, once again, those who object to my use of le mot juste.

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