The wiki-wacky way to talk Argentino

So there I was, last night, googling around for silly stuff. I think I was looking for something on that perverted old freak Carlos Menem and his horrible facelift. (I suspect he had more than just his cheeks done, because his lips look like overstuffed frankfurters, and they hardly move when he talks. Gortex implants anyone?)

Well, I found something else. Did you know there’s this place called the Uncyclopedia, and its entry on Argentina is hilarious?

Here’s a sample:

Argentina is mostly purple and large areas of it are injection-moulded from polypropylene. Argentines are very proud of their national sport of selling their daughter´s asses, which contrary to popular belief, is more popular than football (or soccer as those no good, un-civilized, ignorant, down-syndromed americans would call it).

It is not advised for small children (under 3 years) as small parts of Argentina may easily be swallowed. Do not immerse Argentina in water and do not feed it after midnight. It is strongly requested that you do not cry for it.

Argentina is equipped with three USB ports, a full-colour monitor, and a small shovel. Aforementioned shovel is usually employed by Argentines to bury themselves in cow excretement for ritualistic purposes. Argentina also has periodic cameo appearances on the critically acclaimed soap opera, Boat de Love, where she plays the deadly foreign half-robot sex slave of the aristocrat, Dobby the house elf of Harry Potter II: Return to the Thunderdome. Only £39.99 from all good pet shops*.

All of which is good to know, but the really priceless part is the lesson on how to talk Argentino. I just recently got a copy of The Motorcycle Diaries (the film, which is beautifully shot–and, unusual for an adaptation, is very nearly as good as the book). And I could not make head nor ass of what the Ches were all saying. This REALLY cleared it up for me.

Let it never be said that wiki-pages aren’t good for SOMETHING.

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This entry was posted in Artsy-Fartsy Culture Stuff, Don't Cry For Argentina, Found in Translation, The WTF? Files. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to The wiki-wacky way to talk Argentino

  1. Simon says:

    Hi sabina…all I can say is that Wiki page must have been written by a Chilean… 🙂
    How come they left NABO out?
    and of course this one…
    Y todo a media luz. A media luz paso. El gato en el ropero cogiendo el raton…

  2. Or maybe a Uruguayan! LOL.

  3. Utpal says:

    Bina, you have a new reader in Dubai (!!!) and one in Quito 🙂

  4. Aha! That’s what that Arabian one is…I wonder what brought that one here?
    And strangely, speaking of Quito, I had a dream about El Ecuadorable last night. (No, I can’t tell you the context, other than it was nifty…and very NAUGHTY. LOL.)

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