Another odious end-of-year top-ten list?

Yep, this one’s mine, all mine. I call it “Ten things I will never for the life of me comprehend…at least not THIS year.” All of them having to do, one way or ‘nother, with the Hardcore Stupid…the world’s most incomprehensible people.

10. Truck Nutz. Especially when dangling right below an anti-abortion bumper sticker. Even more pathetic: they’re not real chrome, but they charge you extra for the falsies painted chrome. Hey, if you REALLY wanna be a macho badass, go hump a Hummer.

9. How the hell anyone could think the Coultergeist is sexy. Dude, she had to buy her boobs!

8. What the hell those Palin women were thinking when they named their kids.

7. For that matter, what they were thinking when they conceived them with those guys.

6. How anyone gay can also be a totally pathetic right-wing nutter. Granted, it defies the gay-guy stereotype of impeccable taste…but still.

5. How anybody can seriously believe that a war on an emotion is possible, let alone winnable, let alone that Dubya is winning it.

4. Why anyone is still bothering with those stupid virginity pledges.

3. The bizarre and mysterious allure of those $10-a-pop blue boner pills, particularly when deployed as a secret weapon.

2. The persistence of a pathetic parody like “Barack the Magic Negro”, let alone that anyone would get a chuckle out of it in the first place. Actual black people don’t find it funny, and neither does Peter Yarrow.

1. How anyone can still claim, with a straight face, that capitalism works.

Happy New Year!