So when do we get a Canadian PSUV?

I’ve been saying it (not too loudly around my formerly Conservative dad) for years–if Reform and the Tories could unite the right in this country, why couldn’t the rest of us unite the left and doom those turds to permanent nonentity status?

Canada is not, and never will be, a far-right nation, even after all the Reform-a-Tories’ efforts to drag things that way. But they will go on trying as long as the left is disjointed, and they might even succeed in skewing the notion of where the “centre” lies. Which is why my big hope for this Yuletide is the Canadian equivalent of the United Socialist Party of Venezuela (PSUV).

Whaaaaaaaaaat?

Yes, that’s right. I want Canada to learn from Venezuela, which means I want our left to learn from theirs. They united not two or three, but oodles of leftist parties within a year to create that PSUV, and they’ve just won big in the regional elections down there, too. Proof, if ever anyone needed it, that uniting the left works wonders for a country. Proof, too, that where the need exists, along with popular will, it can be done.

And yes, I think it’s possible to do it in Canada. Just look at the numbers: Harpo had just 38% of the popular vote in the last election, and less than half the parliamentary seats. That means there’s already a good 60% of us, at least, on the left. That’s actually even better support than the PSUV got in the latest election, where it won a healthy 53% of the popular vote and a rock-solid majority of mayoralties and governorships.

Now, just imagine if we channeled that energy in the proper direction. Go on. As John Lennon sang, it’s easy if you try…

All right, so Stéphane Dion is no Chavecito. He’s Mr. Meek and Mild; the ‘Cito is Mr. Big ‘n’ Bombastic. This is Canada; that’s Venezuela. We have a blandly nasty, fundie-neocon Ken doll currently in charge (nominally!); they have a big red-hot socialist chili pepper (out in front of an equally fractious bunch of socialists that the lamestream media never deign to show us because they want us to believe he’s a dictator and a one-man band).

But hey, a girl can still hope for a unified left, especially since Dion finally showed his ‘nads the other day to set that lyin’ Harpo straight. I voted NDP in the last election, but I couldn’t help liking the man who named his dog Kyoto; he struck me as fundamentally decent, even if he was more wonkish than charismatic. Had there been a coalition then, I’d have voted for it gladly, without holding my nose. Charismatic leaders can wait (but not too long, Justin!), as long as we have a committed coalition at least.

Well, now, we’re on the verge of actually having one–I think. The reason I put it so tentatively is because Parliament has been pro-rogued until January 26, in a lame attempt by Harpo to try to save his power-hungry ass. Worse, the newly-born coalition is supposedly shaky, according to all the media whores; the basis for this contention is but a single story, the drama-queenery of one Jim Karygiannis, a back-bencher Liberal MP from Toronto, who whines that he can’t work with the NDP, because they supposedly are “vicious”.

Please, try to keep the beer from shooting out your noses, my fellow lefties. Remember, we’re polite to a fault up here, and beer-snortzing is poor form. Especially from those of us who voted for the Party of Niceness…

Oh, fuck it. Where does Karygiannis get off pulling shit like that? This is not about him, it’s about Canada. Can he please pull his head out of his own not-so-important ass and make an effort to save his constituents, along with the rest of my home and native land, from another three years* of Harpocrisy?

No, of course Karygiannis can’t–because this is all about him and his massive ego, not national unity and the salvation of our economy and social services from more right-wing ideological disasters. Shit, parliamentarians aren’t public servants, they’re the kings of the Hill and they get to do what they want on the taxpayers’ dime, and they are not obligated to be answerable to the rest of us. Didn’t you get the memo, peon?

So, Jim…FUCK YOU VERY MUCH. If all you want is attention, why not stand up on your back bench, turn your rear to the cameras and pull down your pants instead? But if what you want is to serve your public, sit down, shut up, and work with the “vicious” NDP. You need them to give your party a parliamentary majority now.

And we need a united left yesterday to undo the damage of Harpo. Even if it’s currently nowhere near the Venezuelan PSUV for success. As Venezuelan leftist journalist and PSUV member Gonzalo Gómez says, unity on the left is essential to stop the right. We need every seat in Parliament that we can get.

Preferably without a head stuffed up it.

* The “usual” parliamentary term here is roughly four to five years between election calls, but Harpo is so greedy for a majority that he couldn’t wait four. So he did it in three, and still got a minority, but he thinks it’s a mandate because he’s an egomaniac, too.