So, whose chimney did Santa poop down this week? I don’t know, but I sure hope these people got some of his turds, and I hope they’re NOT made of chocolate:1. Rick Fucking Warren. Just imagine if the next president of Iran were welcomed into office by a rabid jihadist advocating for, say, the assassination of the president of the United States? It would cause an international diplomatic incident, would it not? Well, guess what: it’s going to happen on January 20. Only–my whoopsie!–the inauguration in question is not gonna be that of a new Iranian president, but a new US president. And the assassination-monger in question isn’t a Muslim jihadi, but a so-called Christian. One from the same ranks as those who accuse the soon-to-be President Obama of being a Muslim and in league with terrorists. Makes you think, doesn’t it? Well, DOESN’T IT???2. Pope Ratzi von der Hitlerjugend. For Gawd’s sake, how much more embarrassed can we Germans of the world get? Yeah, the gays are the real cause of global warming–it’s all those hot guys having the hots for each other. And overpopulation (a logical result of being against birth control) and overconsumption (a logical result of thinking mankind is the centre of the Universe) have nothing to do with it. Uh-huh. This is the calibre of the brain that’s sitting on the Throne of St. Peter, my friends–fear it. I’m not Catholic, so I thank heaven for THAT small mercy…but remember, this guy is trying to control members of MY country’s parliament, and those of many others, too. Not to mention there’s that Nazi-collaboration thing in my ancestral country. They may order priests and Catholic politicians not to get politically involved (in progressive causes), but I think it’s the popes who really need to get the fuck out of politics.3. Marjorie Fucking Dannenfelser and Team Fucking Sarah. Stop smearing the honorable name of Susan B. Anthony with your stupidity, hate, racism and skirt-wearin’ sexism, you Palinite bitches. 4. All those fucking bailed-out execs. Hey, here’s an innovative idea: instead of asking for more money from Washington, how ’bout you guys kick back into your respective businesses the 1.6 BILLION you received last year? BTW, some of us would really like to know where the current cash bailouts are going. It’s a safe bet that it won’t be to the hard pressed workers producing your obscene profits, salaries and bonuses for you, if the Republic Doors and Windows case is any indication.Trickle-down, my ASS.5. Ollie Fucking North. Say, weren’t you still supposed to be rotting in federal prison? What the fuck are you doing on the FUX Snooze channel? Oh yeah, now I remember…same thing as you were doing during the Iran-Contra hearings. Never mind!6. Fucking Alberta, particularly Fort McFuckingMurray. A whole town, a BASTARD? Hell, yeah. It’s the fucking oilpatch, and they’re already sworn to serve the big oil companies, not the people. When the jobs don’t pay enough to put a roof over someone’s head (and those prairie winters are a BITCH), something is wrong with the picture. But you see, that’s where the province of Alberta deserves a fat thump on the head: they believe in letting the “market” take care of things, while getting government
st because they think they can get a big bargain on big-ticket merchandise. Which leads me to 14. Anyone who’d shoot each other or trample store workers to death during a door-crasher, be it pre- or post-holiday. You people are sick fucks and beyond saving.Merry Christmas, you filthy animals… …and a happy New Year, too.