Nazis, nitwits and numbskulls of the New Year

Fast away the old year passes, falalalala, etc. Time to bid the Hardcore Stupid adieu, also, on a speedy trip to Fuckovia. Here’s who gets it (for not getting it) this week:

1. Rod Fucking Bruinooge. The actual question on whether a fetus is a person was settled around 1988 in Canada; it’s why we have not had any abortion laws since then, and why a solid majority of Canadians are cool with that. But shhhh, don’t tell it to Rod. He seriously thinks that there is a “debate” to be “reopened”. Why? Because he’s an insecure little man who (a) thinks kidneys are valued more than fetuses, and (b) fears that all his precious homunculi will be spurned by the poor wretch with the misfortune to be his wife (who, I understand, has recently popped out another one). Rod, on the grounds of sheer stupidity, which I hope you haven’t passed on to your offspring, you are hereby cordially invited to fuck off. (Preferably into a wad of Kleenex. Spare your wife for a bit, ‘kay?)

2. And speaking of homunculi and the judicious use of Kleenex and/or sinks, how about that Dennis Fucking Prager? Does a man even exist who is more likely to inspire revulsion and emetic reactions to the very idea of him planting a slimy gob of homunculi in one’s belle chose? Seriously, I think even his dominant hand is reluctant to have sex with him. Can you blame it?

3. Richard Fucking Fifer. Martín Torrijos, go wash your hands. And use antibacterial soap. The slime, it is a-catching.

4. The Fucking Moonie Times. Alvaro Fucking Deathsquad Uribe is their pick for best foreign leader of the Fucking Year That Was. Why? Because he’s best at killing campesinos and dressing up their corpses as FARC guerrillas, why else?

5. Alberto Fucking Gonzales. Paul Krugman is searching for the right word to describe this hubris-ridden whiner and torturemonger. I think “asshole” about covers it.

6. Roger Fucking Simon. Will he ever write anything I’d want to read, and do I fucking care?

7. Pickles Fucking Bush. She’s just had her very own “beautiful mind” moment. And after the 20th, it’ll be fading into Xanaxed oblivion. Not a minute too soon, either.

8. Michael Fucking Dare. You’re not funny and neither’s your racist Magic Negro song, so here’s a “gracious but heartfelt fuck you” right back at you. And until you’re clear on the concept of satire, which by definition has to be funny as opposed to merely lame, you can go right on fucking yourself.

9. The Fuckwitted Fucking Fuckheads at RaptureReady.com. Something tells me these morons will be left with one more Great Disappointment this year. But hey, at least they’ll all have their hair and nails done for the occasion!

10. The Fucking Miami Mafia. So they’re all still chewing their toenails about the Cuban Revolution now being 50 years old, and with no end in sight? Here’s me, registering what I think of them for that:

(See, Otto, these cat things ARE useful after all…LOL!)

11. Anyone who’s so fucking naïve/stupid/in denial/head-up-ass as to claim that racism isn’t still a major, MAJOR problem in the US.

And oh yeah,

12. Anyone who thinks oppressive verbal wingnuttery is “free speech”, but my blue language should be censored or spelled with asterisks, pound signs, ampersands and interrobangs. Fuck you very much, but it’s really the other way ’round.

G’night.