It’s time to plant potatoes…and pray none come out looking quite like this:
So, how do this week’s candidates rate? As dicks, taters, or both? Read on, and judge for yourselves…1. Orson Scott Fucking Card. Who is he to be blatting on about the gay-rights movement “dictating” public policy to the married when his own Mormon church is at it far more blatantly and repressively? And who is he to talk about what kind of marriage is “natural” when the Mormons were founded by a man who was not only a dictator, but a polygamist? A screaming closet case, most likely. If he wants the law to dictate what people can do in the privacy of their bedrooms, he should be aware that it can also dictate what’s done in the less-private space of churches–and maybe the very profitable Mormon cult, which also backed Prop Hate, would like to start paying taxes on its tithings, hmmm?2. The fuckhead or fuckheadess who signed him/herself “M. Maloney” at the end of this dumbest-ever letter to the editor. Perhaps you should change your name to “B. Baloney”, sir or madam, because it’s YOU who are “full of bull”, as you so quaintly put it. I would put it less quaintly: You are full of shit. I don’t believe for an instant you’ve been to Venezuela even once, much less “multiple times over the last eight years”. Why else would you claim that Hugo Chávez “was elected by the people of Venezuela, but only once, in 1996. Every ‘election’ since then has been rigged.” Funny, but not only the people themselves, but a whole raft of international observers think you’re full of shit too–and not only because the elections show NO signs of rigging, but because he was elected for the first time in 1998, not 1996. Oh, and the constitution hasn’t been “dissolved”, either; it’s been rewritten BY THE PEOPLE, FOR THE PEOPLE, which the US constitution certainly wasn’t; it was also amended to allow multiple re-election for ALL candidates, BY POPULAR VOTE. Maybe it’s B. Baloney who needs to do some homework–if only to lie more convincingly in his/her LTEs. 3. Gary Fucking Hensley. When did killing people in Afghanistan become somehow “saving” them? When this dick of a lieutenant-colonel decided it was as good as converting them to Christianity. No shit, he really said it: “The special forces guys – they hunt men basically. We do the same things as Christians, we hunt people for Jesus. We do, we hunt them down.” And then some people wonder why fundamentalist Christianity is scaring people away? And that the Muslims of Afghanistan are not only resisting the evangelists’ efforts, but many have also sworn to put them to death for it? Yeah, I wonder too. 4. and 5. Michael Fucking “Savage” Weiner and Fred Fucking Phelps. Congratulations, your incessant demagogic hatemongering got you two shits banned from Britain. 6. Alvaro Fucking Uribe. Using public money and public defenders to protect soldiers accused of taking public money to kill innocent members of the public? Man, that’s…just…LOW. 7. and 8. Carrie Fucking Prejean’s stupid fucking parents. How did Miss Implants California become such a flaming ‘mo-hater and spokeswoman for the sacrosanct institution of Opposite Marriage? Lemme put it to you this way: She learned by imitation from two very Christian divorcees. Bonus wanker points to the ‘rental units for letting her pose topless as a teenager in skimpy pink lace panties. 9. Pat Fucking Robertson. Same-sex marriage means that child molestation, bestiality and polygamy will be legal next? Well, no doubt in Patwa’s wet dreams (and those of Mormon Orson, too). BTW, how’s that assassination plan of yours working out, Marion?10. Kiefer Fucking Sutherland. Dude, your show is fiction. FICTION. Got that? Now sober up and knock off the tough-guy shit.11. and 12. The original Dick and Tater, of course:Nice faces! Just like those of true war criminals.And finally, anyone who comes on here accusing me of not having my facts straight. Au contraire, mes petits frères, I have them all lined up like neat little duckies in a shooting gallery. ‘Tis you, ’tis YOU who do not know squat, be it about Hungarian “Szekler” terrorists (yes, TERRORISTS–and oh boy, is THAT grist for a future entry) or those homegrown (though not indigenous) to Santa Cruz. Get your heads out of your own butts, stop being apologists for fascism, and perhaps you won’t wind up pwned with potatoes down your pants in the future. Or, as in the case of my Szekler heckler, spam-canned and BANNED (with your nasty, abusive e-mails saved in case the Hungarian federal police come calling, heh heh).Thank you, and good night.-
Fear doesn't travel well; just as it can warp judgment, its absence can diminish memory's truth. What terrifies one generation is likely to bring only a puzzled smile to the next. --Arthur Miller, "Why I Wrote 'The Crucible'", The New Yorker, October 21, 1996
All opinions here are the brain-wrackings of Sabina C. Becker, unless otherwise credited. If you cite them, please give credit where due.
-
Suck it, haters. Feminism rocks!
Blogophilia
- ¡Que País!
- 1337hax0r
- 21st Century Socialism
- A Creative Revolution
- A Gringa Diary
- Abandoned Stuff by Saskboy
- Abiding in Bolivia
- Agencia Bolivariana de Noticias
- Alan Beggerow
- Alex Himelfarb
- American Leftist
- Americas Program
- Anonymous Arabist
- Anti-Racist Canada
- Antonia Zerbisias Broadsides
- Arms Control Wonk
- Arthur Kent
- Awakening from hegemony
- Axis of Logic
- Bad Attitudes
- Baghdad Burning
- Bananama Republic
- Barbara Ehrenreich
- Bartcop
- Bartholomew’s Notes on Religion
- Belltower News
- Benjamin Solah
- BillySHEARS
- BitterGrace Notes
- BizarroBlog
- Black Agenda Report
- Blast Furnace
- BlatherWatch
- Blog from Bolivia
- Blogadder
- Bob Row’s Gloria Mundi
- Bolivia Action Solidarity Network
- Bolivia Changes
- Bolivia Matters
- Bolivia Rising
- Bolivia Transition Project
- Bolivia-UN Blog
- BoliviaSol
- BoRev.Net
- Brad DeLong
- Brain Spank
- Buckdog
- CAJA
- Calling All Wingnuts
- Cambios en Cuba
- CANADALAND
- Carlchucho
- Catpaw
- Cats Against Bush
- Cernovich Leaks
- Challenging the Commonplace
- Changing Up Pakistan
- Chris Floyd
- Chronically Clueless
- Cindy Sheehan's Soapbox
- Circles Robinson
- Clarissa Pinkola Estés
- Climate Progress
- Cold North Wind
- Colombia Reports
- Composite (Liz Henry)
- Counterspin Central
- Cowboys for Social Responsibility
- CPC Watch
- Crazy Bitches R Us
- Creative Commons
- Crooks and Liars
- Cuba Journal
- Cuba Reality Check
- Cyberwanderer’s Blog
- Da Timster
- Dahr Jamail
- Daily Howler
- DAMMIT JANET!
- Daniel Ellsberg
- Daniel Goldstein
- Daniel Suelo
- Dave Lindorff
- David Sirota
- Deck Deckert
- Denis DeKat
- Dennis Gruending
- DeSmogBlog
- Dignidad Nacional Perú
- Down South
- Dr. Dawg's Blawg
- Ecuador Rising
- EL CANADU
- El Espacio de Lubrio
- El Gaviero
- Enormous Thriving Plants
- Epic Win FTW
- Ethnos Boriquen
- Eva Golinger
- Evangelical Right
- Ex-Gay Watch
- Excited Delirium
- Factchecker
- FAIL Blog
- FAIR Blog
- Fanal Cubano
- Feminist Christian Socialist
- Fetus Bully
- FFIB NAMOL
- Fillibluster
- Force Planet
- Former Fundy
- Fotoglif
- Freedom Rider
- Friends of Irony
- From Floor 7
- Frontlines of Revolutionary Struggle
- Fuck Conservatives
- Fuck the Tea Party
- G20 Inquiry
- Gaza Freedom March
- Geek Gaucho
- Género con Clase
- Ghost of Wellstone
- GochoGringo
- Gossip Boy
- Greg Mitchell
- Gringo in Venezuela
- Gringo Tambo Blog
- Gringos Against CAFTA
- Guerrilla Comunicacional
- Guevaristas
- Gun Guys
- Haiti Relief and Reconstruction Watch
- Haiti-Cuba-Venezuela Analysis
- Hasta Los Gatos Quieren Zapatos
- Hitchens Watch
- Honduran Campesino
- Honduras Coup 2009
- Honduras Frente al Golpe de Estado
- Honduras Morazánica
- Honduras Oye
- Huffington Post
- Hugo Chávez
- I Will Not Shut The Fuck Up
- In the Name of Democracy
- Inca Kola News
- Information Is Beautiful
- Institute for Southern Studies
- Item Not As Described
- James Petras
- Jane Fonda
- Janet McNeill
- Japan Nuclear Crisis
- JesseCo.
- Jesus' General
- Jewbonics
- Jews Sans Frontieres
- Jim Lobe
- JimBobby Sez
- Joe Bodolai
- John E. Jones
- John Gorenfeld
- John Pilger
- Juan Cole
- Justin Delacour
- Kevin Sites
- King Daevid
- La Vida Locavore
- Law is Cool
- Left Business Observer
- Lenin's Tomb
- Let Freedom Rain
- Libcom.org
- Liberal Talk Radio
- Life on the Left
- Lilian Nattel
- LobeLog
- Loonwatch
- Los Blogueros
- Lost Cosmonaut
- Lugares Comunes
- Lunatic Llama
- M. Bouffant
- Machetera
- Malmo Blue's Equal Radio
- Marc McDonald
- Margaret Cho
- Margarita del Norte
- Mary Cartledgehayes
- Matthias in Marburg
- Media Co-op
- Media Culpa
- Media Matters
- MediaCitizen
- Meeting Point
- Memory Blog
- Memory in Latin America
- Michael Moore
- Mike Malloy
- Mike Malloy Show
- Mike Watkins
- Milfuegos
- Missed the Epistle
- Mona Eltahawy
- Mondoweiss
- Montreal Simon
- Morons With Signs
- Mrs. Bitch
- Ms.Marx
- Murray Dobbin
- Murray Waas
- MuzzleWatch
- My Blahg
- My Fault, I'm Female
- Naked Capitalism
- Naomi Epel
- Nashua Advocate
- NewsHounds
- Nicolás Rivera
- Nieman Watchdog
- Noam Chomsky
- NobodyCouldHavePredicted
- Northern Reflections
- Notes from the Greenwood
- Nuclear Test Watch
- Ohh Shoot
- Oil Wars
- Oliver Willis
- One Good Move
- Or Perhaps…
- Orcinus
- Orwell's Bastard
- Pamelyn Casto
- Parliament Shill
- Peace, Order and Good Government, Eh?
- Peter Bogdanovich
- Philip Racuel
- Political Teen Tidbits
- Probably Bad News
- Progressive Economics Forum
- Progressive Proselytizing
- Propaganda Critic
- ProPublica
- Public Values
- Queer Thoughts
- Quotha
- Rabble.ca
- Racism Review
- Rack Jite
- Raed Jarrar
- Rage Against the Man-chine
- Rantdog
- RCMP Watch
- Reg Hartt
- Religious Right Alert
- Reprehensor
- Resettle THIS!
- Resistencia Morazán
- Rev. Day-Bu
- Reveille Radical
- Robert Greenwald
- Rock Around the Blockade
- Romenesko
- Rude Pundit
- Ruins of Empire
- Sadly, No!
- Save the Rich
- Science Blog
- Scott Rosenberg
- SeaLatin Blog
- Secrecy News
- Seeing Red in the Southwest
- Served And Protected
- Sharon Fraser
- Sherry Wolf
- Shmohawk
- Shockfront
- Sick of This Crap
- Sierra Maestra
- Silobreaker
- Sister Sage's Musings
- Slacktivist
- Small State
- Smudge Report
- Socialist Democracy
- Sociological Images
- Soldier Say No
- Solidarity With Six Nations
- Sources.com
- Stan Goff
- Steve Lendman
- Stinky Journalism
- Straight Goods
- Structurally Maladjusted
- Stuffed and Starved
- Sue Thomason
- Survival International
- T’anta Wawa Talks
- Tales of Zapata Street
- Talk Left
- Talking Points Memo
- Talking Radio
- Ten Percent
- The Abortioneers
- The Agonist
- The Anti-Social Socialist
- The AntiCraft!
- The Arabist
- The Black Commentator
- The CPC Watcher
- The Cracked Crystal Ball II
- The Crotchety Old Fan
- The Cynical Arab
- The Daily Sketch
- The End of Capitalism
- The Harper Index
- The Hasbara Buster
- The Havana Note
- The Homo Agenda
- The Largest Minority
- The Left Hand of Feminism
- The Mex Files
- The Oatmeal
- The Pagan Prattle
- The Poor Man
- The Prison Notebook of Maximón
- The Regina Mom
- The Revolution Is In The Classroom
- The Scarlet Pimpernel
- The Sixth Estate
- The Skinny
- The Unapologetic Mexican
- The Wild Hunt
- The Wingnuterer
- This is why you're fat.
- Thump and Whip
- Tikun Olam
- Tim's El Salvador Blog
- Tom Tomorrow
- Toronto Troll Gallery
- Tortilla Con Sal
- Toward Freedom
- Troubletown
- Truth Mafia
- Truthout Blog
- TVNewsLies
- Ukhampacha Bolivia
- Unapologetic Canadian
- UNREDACTED
- Uzza's Notes
- VeeeATCH!
- Ven Central
- Venezuela Solidarity
- Vile Tweets
- Wage Slave Journal
- Walter Lippmann
- Walter Mignolo
- War of the Waves
- Watching Stephen Harper Like A Hawk
- We Hunted the Mammoth
- we move to canada
- Whap! Whap!
- William Engdahl
- Window Into Palestine
- Women’s Space
- Wonkette
- wood s lot
- World O' Crap
- WTF Is It Now??
- Yohandry’s Weblog
- ΚΕΛΑΗΔΙΣΜΑΤΑ
-
Categories
- A Bit of a Brag…
- A Man, A Plan, A Canal
- A Passage to India
- All About Evo
- All the Tea in China
- Amazing Places
- Angry Pacifist Speaks Her Mind
- Arabian Nights
- Artsy-Fartsy Culture Stuff
- Audible Audacity
- Balkan Yogurt
- Banksters
- Barreling Right Along
- Belgian Waffles
- Bina's Band of Brigands
- Boycott This Toon!
- Brazil is the Bomb!
- Bullies
- BushCo Death Watch
- Buzz Me Now! Here's How!
- Canadian Counterpunch
- Chile Sin Queso
- Clip 'n' Save
- Compare and Contrast
- Confessions of a Bad German
- Cool Beans
- Cops Behaving Badly
- Cops Behaving Better
- Corruptos
- Crapagandarati
- Credit Where Due
- Cuba, Libre (de los Yanquis)
- CubanaBomber Death Watch
- Czech This Out
- Dawgs
- Deepest Darkest Africa
- Der Drumpf
- Do As I Say…
- Don't Cry For Argentina
- Drrrrruuuugs
- Dweebs
- Economics for Dummies
- Ecuadorable As Can Be
- El NarcoPresidente
- El Predicto Speaks…
- Environmentally Ill
- Epidumbics
- EuroPeons
- Facecrooks
- Farts
- Fascism WITH Swastikas
- Fascism Without Swastikas
- Festive Left Friday Blogging
- Fetus Fetishists
- Filthy Stinking Rich
- Fine Young Cannibals
- Found in Translation
- Free Trade, My Ass!
- Freeze Peach!
- Fun With Photoshop
- Gazing on Gaza
- Going Dutch
- Good to Know
- Greek Salad
- Grifters
- Guatemala, Guatebuena
- Guns, Guns, Guns
- Headline Howlers
- Heroes for Today
- Huguito Chavecito
- Human Rights FAIL
- Hungarian Goulash
- I Left My Hat in Haiti
- If You REALLY Care
- Inca Dink-a-Doo
- Irish Stew
- Isn't It Ironic?
- Isn't That Illegal?
- Isn't That Impeachable?
- Isn't That Racist?
- Isn't That Terrorism?
- Israelly Uncool
- Just Pissed Off
- Karma 1, Dogma 0
- Kittehs
- Kooks
- Korean Kimchi
- Law-Law Land
- Let Them Fight!
- Look, I Made a Poem!
- Madvertising
- Men Who Just Don't Get It
- Merry Old England
- Mexican Standoffs
- Mobsters
- Morticia! You Spoke French!
- Music for a Sunday
- Nepotism
- Newspeak is Nospeak
- No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
- Not Hiding in Honduras
- Not So Compassionate Conservatism
- Nukes
- Obamarama!
- Obits and 'bobs
- Oceania
- Paraguay, Uruguay
- Persian Cats
- Pissing Jesus Off
- Professional Phobes
- Puerto Rico, Gente Pobre
- Quacks
- Quotable Notables
- Rivers in Egypt
- Scandinavian Smorgasbord
- Scary Thoughts
- Schadenfreude
- She Blinded Me With Science
- Short 'n' Stubby
- Shysters
- Sick Frickin' Bastards
- Socialism is Good for Capitalism!
- Spooks
- Stupid Sex Tricks
- Technical Notes
- Teh Ghey
- Teh Heterostoopid
- Teh Injunz
- Teh Russkies
- The 'Stans
- The "Well, DUH!" Files
- The Bern
- The Bold and the Badass
- The Hardcore Stupid
- The Nausea
- The Salvador Option(s)
- The Trans
- The United States of Amnesia
- The War on Terra
- The WTF? Files
- True Scotsmen (and WOMEN!)
- Turkish Treats
- Turning Japanese
- Ukraine, Ikraine, WeAllKraine
- Uncategorized
- Under the Name of Spain
- Uppity Wimmin
- W is for Weak (and Stupid)
- Wankers of the Week
- Weather Whackjobbery
- Weebs
- Who Forgot Poland?
- Writer Lady Sings the Blues
- Yes, I Really Cook!
Meta
as always, you make my fucking day.
Sure it’s a potatoe and not a biodegradable mobile fon?
at least the look would fit the name…
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/may/11/chavez-venezuela-mobile-phone-vergatorio
LOL…you noticed that too, eh? Check out BoRev’s pic:
http://www.borev.net/2009/05/talk_to_the_balls.html
Is it a Dickaphone or a Dildophone?