Stupid Sex Tricks: So you think you’re hot shit?

Well, you’re halfway there, bud. But you ain’t hot till someone does this to you:

A 26-year-old woman is being hailed as a national hero after belying the conventional wisdom that revenge is a dish best served cold.

The unidentified female from the Mediterranean island of Crete set fire to a drunk 23-year-old Briton’s genitals after he allegedly tried to sexually assault her in a crowded bar, London’s Daily Telegraph reports. She earned further accolades from her countrymen for turning herself over to the police following the incident.

According to a police report, the intoxicated party-goer had taken down his pants and was waving his genitals at women in the bar. He then “forcefully fondled” the 26-year-old woman and asked her to take hold of his genitals.

She responded by soaking his genitals in a liquor. When this failed to cool off his advances, she reportedly grabbed a lighter and set his nether-region on fire.

The alleged sex assailant is hospitalized with what the Telegraph describes as “considerable damage” to his penis and testicles.

Ooooo, la-la…Revenge Flambé! I’ve never had that. Bet Jack the Lad wishes he hadn’t, either.

Maybe this’ll make all those boozing Brits think twice–and drink half as much if ever they’re in Crete. Otherwise, they too might end up the main course at a wienie roast.

BTW, for all you history buffs out there: Greek Fire was Byzantium’s secret weapon. Nice to see it hasn’t fallen completely out of use. I say we make it purse-size and bottle it!

Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmail
This entry was posted in Morticia! You Spoke French!, Stupid Sex Tricks, Uppity Wimmin. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Stupid Sex Tricks: So you think you’re hot shit?

  1. deBeauxOs says:

    Queen Bina, at the risk of being considered a “man-hater”, I must confess that I felt a twinge of empathy for the woman who set fire to the hooligan’s package.
    Retribution. Some like it hot.

  2. Yeah, me too. I don’t smoke, but reading this made me think it might be worth investing in a Zippo to carry wherever I go…just in case.

  3. Brian says:

    Sexual harassment isn’t good, but neither is mutilation. This sort of thing shouldn’t be applauded.

  4. Richard says:

    Why is it, whenever one of these guys does something fatally (or at least painfully) dickish in sunny climes, you get a quote like this, from Hot-pants Boy’s dad?:
    “He’s not the kind of lad that gets himself in trouble – he’s a kind-hearted, generous boy.”

  5. My humble theory is that Dad has never seen how his son acts when he’s NOT under parental supervision. Of course the kid is on his best behavior with the folks around–he knows better than to let his dickish side out then. His big mistake, of course, was thinking that his parents were the only ones who’d call him on it. (Either that, or it was drinking himself insensible whut done it.)

Comments are closed.