This one’s just for you, Carl…

A couple of days ago, a flying monkey ‘winger calling himself Carl pooped on this entry here. I had written out a nasty little reply, but I’ve had sober second thoughts, and what’s more, I’ve a hell of a lot more to say today. Since that entry’s about to roll off the front page with the posting of this one, I’ll copy out for you exactly what he crapped so you can see for yourself how ridiculous it is, even just on the face of it:

I honestly hope that fucking thug Chavez tires to invade Colombia or incite some kind of border skirmish. Having trained and operated with Colombian forces from 1990-2004, I can guarantee you that they would kick the living shit out of Chavez’s hollowed out army.

Carl, are you a masochist? Because you sure sound like you WANT to have your ass soccer-dribbled by a female civilian peacenik.

I don’t normally indulge stupid men’s death wishes, but I guess I can make an exception, because in a remarkably compact form, you’ve just encapsulated all the collective stupidity of your ilk. So, here goes…

First of all, the fucking thug here is Uribe, not Chávez. Tattoo it on your forehead if you have trouble remembering this simple declarative sentence, Carl: ALVARO URIBE IS A FUCKING THUG.

All of South America has a problem with Uribe. Venezuela and Ecuador do because they’re right on Colombia’s border, and they’re sick to death of having to mop up the bloody spillover from Colombia’s civil wars. (They’re also sick to death of being bombed and invaded by Colombia, with gringo “help”.)

And they’re not the only ones. Uribe took a whirlwind tour of South America lately, to no avail. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t giving press conferences, and that his motorcade managed to evade the huge mass protests everywhere he went; he wasn’t feeling any love. Evo actually smacked him around in Bolivia, which took some serious cojones. Even the big ABCs–Argentina, Brazil and Chile–aren’t buying what the gringos’ puppet dictator is trying to sell.

So, Carl, I bet you’re wondering what their probem is? Well, in a nutshell, it’s the sovereignty, stupid! When one country just pisses on all its neighbors by saying it’s gonna let the US build bases there, and it’s going to collaborate in spying and terrorizing, nyaaaah–what did you expect? Imperialism isn’t welcome there anymore (not that it ever really was, except to the idle rich, who were more than happy to have a US-backed death squad killing the uppity peasants so that they wouldn’t have to dirty their own aristocratic hands at it.) There are any number of good reasons why the locals have been yelling “Yankee go home” for over a hundred years now. Some of them are dead now, but others could still go before The Hague, assuming that a local tribunal doesn’t get to them first.

Colombia, incidentally, is rife with trial-worthy human rights abusers who are unlikely to face justice at home because the system there is deeply corrupted. Every administration since the Bogotazo, at the very least, has peasants’ blood on its hands. There are corruptos in every cabinet, and Uribe himself is the biggest one of all. Hey Carl, have you heard yet that he was good friends with Pablo Escobar, and even rubber-stamped the pilots’ licences for the latter’s flyboys? It’s true!

And that’s not even touching the paramilitaries. If those aren’t fucking thugs, I don’t know who is. And Uribe’s doing nothing to rein them in; in fact, he’s actively linked to them. What does that say about him?

Now, about your fond little hope, Carl…that Chavecito will “tire” to initiate a border war. (How the hell does one tire to initiate wars? Dyslexics of the world, untie!) Sadly, you’re not gonna get your widdle wish, because Uribe is now whimpering around with his tail between his legs:

Last Friday the president of Colombia, Alvaro Uribe, said his government was interested in repairing relations with Venezuela and Ecuador. On the same day he also said that the Colombian government had sealed negotiations with the United States to allow U.S. troops to be deployed on seven of its bases in Colombia. Chavez responded that for such actions, the mending of relations was impossible.

[…]

Chavez, speaking on his weekly TV show on Sunday, said it would be impossible to renew relations with Colombia because of Colombia’s verbal attacks on Venezuela and the threat posed by the US military bases on its territory.

Venezuela also froze its relations with Colombia after hearing about the planned US bases, and then being accused of selling weapons to the FARC by the Colombian government. It withdrew its ambassador to Colombia on 28 July, reinstalled it on 7 August and is seeking alternative trading partners.

“Uribe said extremely cynically that he wants to repair relations. They are attacking us, they are slandering us, and then he says that he wants to mend relations between Colombia and Ecuador. But how? He can’t. It’s already impossible, there’s no way to repair this,” Chavez said.

That’s not war talk; that’s diplomatic and trade talk. It’s also a plain, bald statement of facts. He’s not saying “We’re gonna bomb Colombia”, because there’s no interest in throwing good blood after bad. He’s an intelligent man, disinclined to quarrel with an obvious stooge because it’s undignified–and, it bears repeating, he is NOT a fucking thug.

Now, I know you’re more than a little hard of thinking, Carl, because you obviously didn’t comprehend a word of my earlier entry. Since you claimed to have spent 14 years in Colombia, you ought to know at least enough Spanish to watch and understand the video I posted on the entry you defaced with your puerile war-mongering gibberish. I call bullshit on your claim, Carl–if you had spent that long in Colombia, you would understand not only Spanish, but local issues, a lot better. Your grasp of the news is that of a typical armchair general from Freeperville. You haven’t “trained and operated” with anyone, in other words.

I also call bullshit on the notion that Uribe and his gringo backers would “kick the living shit out of Chavez’s hollowed out army”. First off, the Venezuelan armed forces are not “hollowed out”, they’ve been purged of their SOA-trained putschists and cash-diverting bloodsuckers. That’s good for morale, as well as patriotism and loyalty–all of which they have in abundance. They’re also newly equipped with matériel that actually works. Venezuela has replaced its old FAL rifles with Kalashnikovs, and even has a Kalashnikov factory or two now. They’ve also been phasing out their dying F-16s, replacing the
m with some very capable Russian-built fighter planes. Perhaps you’ve heard of the Sukhoi, Carl? If not, let me show you it.

Venezuela don’t need no stinkin’ gringo hardware. These Sukhois (and the others still to come) are perfectly capable of bombing the shit out of any military base in Colombia, including the gringo ones, if Venezuela or Ecuador is attacked. If not, the planes will keep on flying just for show, as they’re doing above. There won’t be any border war, at least not one started by Chavecito, although he seems more than capable of finishing it. The one who will provoke the border skirmish–and who has already tried it more than once–is that fucking thug Uribe, and no other.

BTW, Carl, I’d really like you to explain to me how a “hollowed out” military could be capable of doing this:

180 clandestine drug-running airstrips destroyed, according to this EFE report from last year. They’re still hard at it, too. That’s why you’re paying so much more for all that crack you’re smoking lately, Carl–Venezuela’s not playing nice with your DEA smugglers anymore. (Pretty soon you won’t be able to afford any, and that’s fine with me. If you wanna see “hollowed out”, try googling the search terms “US economy”.)

Like I said, they don’t need no stinkin’ gringo hardware, or no stinkin’ gringo “help” combatting drugs! What they need, Carl, is for the US and Colombia to get the fuck off their turf and leave them the hell alone. Is that so hard to understand?

You can “honestly hope” whatever you like, Carl, but at the end of the day, you’re just another dumbass whose hopes will, thankfully, never be realized. You need to STFU…and find better things to hope for, “honestly” or otherwise.

Personally, I honestly hope you stop smoking crack.