Wankers of the Week: Ted Kennedy memorial edition

Posted on August 29, 2009 by Sabina Becker

ted-kennedy-dead.jpg

This week, we honor a man who, like his brothers before him, made a career of public service. And who better to show what a public DISservice is, than those who dishonor him? Yes, folks…here are this week’s public fappers, and here’s this week’s public thwap:

1. Andrew Fucking Breitbart. Please, people–don’t get any “news” off his website, boycott his sponsors, and stay the fuck away from his Twitterings. You are feeding a booze-addled, pop-eyed, dough-bellied, frowsy-haired TROLL. Or, to quote Bitefart himself, “a special pile of human excrement”. Class? Decorum? Compassion? Any virtue at all? Him no haz it.

2. Joseph Fucking Farah no haz any, either. Hairball remedy, Joe? You sound like you could use it. Also, heh.

3. And Joe, when you’re done with the bottle of Hairball-B-Gone, don’t forget to pass it around to these fucking conservatwits. Meghan McCain (who DOES haz class, and to spare) didn’t spank those flying monkeys NEARLY hard enough.

4. Rush Fucking Limbaugh. Figures the Pigman would gloat about Sen. Kennedy dying before the healthcare reform he advocated would pass. Guess what, OxyMoron–nobody’s gonna visit your grave except maybe to dance and/or piss on it. Ted, like his brothers, will get pilgrims. Dust THAT on your stinky cigar and smoke it! We wanna hear you cough and wheeze your last REAL soon. (Better still, blow an artery on the air, you fat sack of shit. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has a bottle of champagne waiting just for THAT occasion.)

5. Sarah Fucking Palin’s Facebook “friends”. Trollops one and all. Won’t be missed when THEY are gone, either.

6. Andrew Fucking Klavan. Until now, I had never heard of this dickhead. I wish that were still the case. Oh well, another one who won’t be missed when it comes time. Too bad that time won’t come nearly soon enough.

7. Bob Fucking Owens, alias Confederate Yankee. Basically, shitty used-car salesman with a whiny accent, living in the North, bitter that the South ain’t risin’ agiiiiiiiin (and that he still ain’t got hisself a brand-new barby-cue), takes out all his bilious ire on a corpse from Massachusetts. Once more, with feeling: Will not be missed, etc.

8. The Fucking Wankeress–er, sorry, I meant to type Anchoress. Say, aren’t nuns supposed to take vows of poverty, chastity, and all that crap? What, then, is this one doing with a computer, ho’ing around in the wingnut blogosphere? Oh yeah: Chappafuckingquiddick. Self-righteousness blogged large. Jesus appropriately pissed. Have I said “won’t be missed” yet?

9. Nick Fucking Gillespie. Someone please tell him that he just blowdried his own already feeble brains out. Ah well, won’t be missed…but that vegetative state IS rather disturbing.

10. Jonah Fucking Goldberg. Srsly, who cares what the illegitimate spawn of LBJ “thinks” about anything? Won’t be missed!

And in closing, I reiterate the mean thing “mauser” said at Dr. Dawg’s blog. The only true bad thing anyone could say about Ted Kennedy, in my humble estimation. Sleep well, old lion.

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13 Responses to Wankers of the Week: Ted Kennedy memorial edition

  1. Anthony says:
    August 29, 2009 at 10:23 AM

    Ah, Breitbart. The guy who said the neo-Nazi who shot up the Holocaust Museum was a “multiculturalist”. Yeah, ’cause everyone knows how acceptive Hitler was of other cultures; especially when 6 million Jews and 11 million of other cultures (Poles, gays, Romani among others) were murdered in the Holocaust! Oh, how I LOATHE these fucking right-wingers…
    And I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that Limbaugh *will* die one day, putting an end to his self-image as some “semi-divine” figure. Not a threat, right-wing trolls, just a fact. Everyone dies – including Limbaugh. Preferably in the Dominican Republic, with a bottle of Viagra and the third-grade pupils of Santo Domingo’s P.S. 132 watching.

  2. Sabina Becker says:
    August 29, 2009 at 10:36 AM

    I rather hope that the Pigman will get popped in the DR while soliciting a little girl who turns out NOT to be one of “those” girls. (You know the ones I mean–trafficked children.) I hope her father overhears and does what any father would/should do when his child is being sexually molested by a swine who came there just for that purpose.
    Yeah, I know, it’s a mean thing to say…but it’s tame compared to what the Pigman makes his greasy living saying.

  3. deBeauxOs says:
    August 29, 2009 at 12:21 PM

    Excellent round-up ‘Bina.

  4. Manaat says:
    August 29, 2009 at 1:46 PM

    Bina, have you watched this? Clip 2 with Ismael García is particularly funny.
    http://vtv.gob.ve/videos-emisiones-anteriores/22850

  5. Sabina Becker says:
    August 29, 2009 at 1:57 PM

    Yep, I saw that. They speeded up his harangue so that he sounded like he was on helium. What a pluperfect wanker that man is!

  6. JJ says:
    August 29, 2009 at 3:17 PM

    Hear hear, well done, applause and apple sauce. Great roundup of the feverish wankfest in progress this week.

  7. Monmick says:
    August 29, 2009 at 11:03 PM

    Man, they are going to appoint Rush Limbaugh to Kennedy’s Senate seat. I can’t believe it! Why would they do this?
    http://www.nationalpost.com/news/story.html?id=1938179

  8. Sabina Becker says:
    August 29, 2009 at 11:09 PM

    OMG, now that would have been a Headline Howler and a Half. LOL! Fortunately, the Pigman isn’t a citizen of Massachusetts. He’s no longer even based in the north, having fucked off out of New York onaccounta he didn’t wanna pay no stinkin’ taxes. New Yorkers all hove a huge sigh of relief when they saw his pimply ass leave the city. They swear the air there has been cleaner since, and they’re probably right.
    Let’s hope the good people of Massachusetts can get a worthy soul to fill that seat soon. Are there any other Kennedys out there willing to serve in the interim, I wonder?

  9. Monmick says:
    August 29, 2009 at 11:13 PM

    Funny you should ask…
    “[…] There’s also talk that Joseph P. Kennedy II, a former congressman and Robert F. Kennedy’s eldest son, might stand in the special election.”

  10. Sabina Becker says:
    August 29, 2009 at 11:57 PM

    Well, either one would probably be a shoo-in…and determined to carry on their uncle Ted’s legacy. That would no doubt blow the Pigman’s stack big-time.
    In short, I approve!

  11. Monmick says:
    August 30, 2009 at 12:19 AM

    Well, the second one has been dead for a while now, but I guess that doesn’t preclude him from running and winning a seat.

  12. Sabina Becker says:
    August 30, 2009 at 12:23 AM

    Hmmm…I was thinking of the Joe Kennedy who runs Citizens’ Energy, and who is alive and well. Bobby Kennedy Jr., too, is alive and well. Both are very public-minded, and would no doubt be both familiar to the citizens of Massachusetts, as well as determined to carry on where Ted left off.
    We shall see…

  13. Monmick says:
    August 30, 2009 at 12:31 AM

    Joe IS “Robert F. Kennedy’s eldest son” — the article is not suggesting that Bobby Jr. is also thinking of standing for election. Anyway, that’s enough on this topic, I simply wanted to catch you on that headline. Cheers.

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