Wankers of the Week, preemie-um edition: We don’t know nothin’ ’bout birthin’ no ‘bamas!


If that ‘toon doesn’t say it all, I got several more that do, and I’m gonna try really hard to work them all into this week’s post. Yes, this is an early edition, on account of it’s my birthday today, and His Barackness’s tomorrow (and my blog-buddy Anthony really REALLY wanted me to sock it to our first one last Saturday). So, on with it…

1. Orly Fucking Taitz. I don’t know who’s the stupidest here: the assclowns she “represents”, the harpy herself, the law school that “graduated” her (and what is this “Dr., Esquire” shit? She’s a former dentist, not a doctor of laws. Shades of “Dr.” Laura!), or the parents who named her after a Paris airport–and a seriously toxic-smelling brand of nail polish, whose fumes I’m sure she huffs everytime she has to get out there and squawk about Barack. Oh, but wait, I haven’t gotten to the best part of all: She’s not a natural born US citizen herself! Hmmm, what do you suppose this is a case of?


Yep, you guessed it. Only I suspect that for “Dr.” O RLY? et al., the problem is precisely that the “kettle” is, in fact, a schwartzer. Albeit, alas for their whole cause, a natural-born US citizen and legitimately elected president.

Sorry, O RLY, you shoulda stuck to dentistry. You don’t have the legal or the moral standing to do what you’re doing. After this, though, I doubt you’ll find any sane people wanting your fingers in their mouths.

2. and 3. Ryan Fucking White and C.M. Fucking Route. A background check? What, you guys think the FBI hasn’t done it and cleared him already–like, right about the time when he first ran for local office in Chicagoland? Figures that you Keystone Kops are from Georgia, where the odds are much higher that you’ll find birthers (among other assorted racists and dumbasses). No doughnuts for you!

4. Lou Fucking Dobbs. When even a FUX Snooze whore like Chris Fucking Wallace–and a flat-out racist like Don Fucking Imus–thinks you’re whack, you’re fucking WHACK, dude.


5. and 6. Bernie Fucking Goldberg and Bill O’Fucking Reilly. Yeah, right, this whole “birther” thing is some kind of left-wing conspiracy to make all you ‘wingers out there look bat-shit crazy. Like you needed any help!

7. Jason Fucking Hommel. Keep your ill-gotten money, Mr. “Silver Stock Report”. What I want to know is, what makes you think anyone who uses biblical “prophesy” (that’s a verb, dumbass!) as a basis for his daily decision-making is anyone to go to for a reward for a real birth certificate that the Obama campaign already released long ago? Admit it: your “offer” is null and void. (That’s legalese for “ain’t gonna happen!”)


8. Wiley Fucking Drake. First this unholy roller prays for Obama’s death, now he’s trying to invalidate his birth. O, sweet Jesus–what the hell is wrong with your so-called followers who claim to be “pro-life”, and then turn around and do shit like this? Figures that he’s a Southern Baptist–they broke with the mainstream Baptists onaccounta they started lettin’ the niggruhs in! PS: Imprecation isn’t “praying”, nor is it “agreeing with God”, it’s cursing. Don’t take God’s name in vain, y’all!

9. Mark Fucking Joseph. This Neville Chamberlain of the Internets has a sooooooper-genius answer to the whole Birther problem (and the bigger problem of the anti-Birthers, who have the temerity to yell bullshit when they’ve had a bellyful). Namely, that the anti-Birthers should join forces with the Birthers to demand that Obama produce what he has already produced! I would have devoted more rantspace to the silly fuckwit than this, but alas, Tom at Thump and Whip has already, well, thumped and whipped him over it.

10. Tommy Fucking Seno. See above, and add “blaming Obama” to the list of soooooper-genius fuckwitteries.


And that’s it for today. It’s now official: Obama was born in Hawaii, I was born in northern Ontario, and all those Birthers were born in a barn. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some serious grogginess to attend to. Cake, ice cream and homemade pasta, anyone?

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7 Responses to Wankers of the Week, preemie-um edition: We don’t know nothin’ ’bout birthin’ no ‘bamas!

  1. Polaris says:

    Happy Birthday, Bina. 🙂
    Many of the anti-Obama Birthers, even though they know his citizenship is not an issue, continue to yammer about “taking our country back.”
    That’s code for “OMG we have a N—– in the White House!”

  2. Yes indeedy. And thanks for the good wishes!

  3. Uzza says:

    Have a Happy Birthday!

  4. ceti says:

    Wow, another nut from Moldova who immigrated to Israel to become the center of another fascist movement. Maybe she’s related to Avigdor Lieberman.

  5. Wouldn’t surprise me. The settlers from the former Soviet bloc are among the worst of all.
    PS: Thanks Uzza!

  6. Manaat says:

    Happy (belated) b´day, Bina!

  7. Thanks, amigo! Want any homemade ravioli? 🙂

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