Stupid Sex Tricks: I already knew this in high school

Posted on October 10, 2009 by Sabina Becker

boy-paradox.jpg

Unfortunately, this is all too often true.

girl-paradox.jpg

Unfortunately, so’s this.

(To all the assholes I’ve loved before: yeah, dudes, I’m lookin’ at YOU.)

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8 Responses to Stupid Sex Tricks: I already knew this in high school

  1. Manaat says:
    October 10, 2009 at 2:39 PM

    There’s something wrong with these Venn diagrams … so a boy can be dumb and smart simultaneously?

  2. Sabina Becker says:
    October 10, 2009 at 3:42 PM

    No…it means that if he’s got all the good stuff, he’s probably gay.

  3. fern hill says:
    October 10, 2009 at 5:29 PM

    Good one, Sabina. 😀
    I can’t count the number of boys I had crushes on that turned out to be gay.

  4. Sabina Becker says:
    October 10, 2009 at 9:57 PM

    Yeah, me too. That’s why I LOL’d when I saw those charts at the cheezburger place.

  6. The Scarlet Pimpernel says:
    October 11, 2009 at 8:56 AM

    Hi, ‘Bina. You caught on to this (high school) much quicker than my male peers and I did. Some of them still haven’t. Which I guess proves that girls mature quicker than boys (who sometimes never mature at all). A hard lesson to learn and if you get really lucky, you find the one hot, smart, nice girl who for some reason known but to God finds you a good choice for a life partner.
    As for Mark, above, You overlooked the asshole part. (Just kidding. :))

  7. Sabina Becker says:
    October 11, 2009 at 10:11 AM

    Julia Roberts’ character in Pretty Woman was pretty much an impossibility, but she was right-on about one thing: there really are wonderful women in the world who are just plain bum-magnets. I don’t know that we pick the assholes, so much as they pick us. Maybe they think they’re entitled; maybe they just wanna take us down a peg. Maybe they think they’re entitled…to take us down a peg! But I would never have put up with that crap if I hadn’t had it drilled into my head from an early age by all and sundry that (a) you’re nothing without a man, and (b) you’re damn lucky to get one, even if he is a bum, so (c) put up and shut up. Even a smart girl is powerless against that kind of conditioning when it’s all around her. (In fact, WE get told not to be so damn smart, or we’ll never get a man. AAAAAAAAAARGH!)
    The nice thing about getting older is that you (a) learn to outgrow that conditioning, (b) start demanding better from your life (which entails learning how to dump the bums), and best of all, you (c) don’t have to fend off nearly so many of them, because they’ve moved on to younger, more gullible chicks–who are secretly repulsed by their receding hairlines and burgeoning potbellies! Ain’t karma a bitch? LOL!

  8. Mark Francis says:
    October 11, 2009 at 7:24 PM

    “They’ve moved on to younger, more gullible chicks–who are secretly repulsed by their receding hairlines and burgeoning potbellies!”
    Damn.

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