Wankers of the Week: Honduran siege edition

Mel’s back in (and still waiting in the Brazilian embassy); Gorilletti (love the monkey feet!) isn’t out yet. Honduras has now gone three months without democratic leadership. Here’s who’s fapping about it this week:

1. Lewis Fucking Anselem. Is this the best the US can do for a diplomat?

At an emergency meeting of the Organization of American States to discuss the Honduran face-off, Lewis Anselem, the U.S. ambassador to the OAS, also criticized Honduras’ de facto government for its “deplorable” action in barring entry of an OAS mission and declaring a state of siege on Sunday.

Anselem also criticized Zelaya for fueling violence by slipping back into Honduras last week and holing up in the Brazilian Embassy, from where he has called on his supporters to take to the streets.

“The return of Zelaya absent an agreement is irresponsible and foolish … He should cease and desist from making wild allegations and from acting as though he were starring in an old movie,” Anselm said.

Anselem urged the de facto government to handle security with “restraint and caution” and called on Zelaya to “exercise leadership” and urge his supporters to express their views peacefully.

Yo, Lew? They ARE expressing their views peacefully. The violence is coming from Gorilletti’s boys, who are under orders to repress their views peacelessly. What would you call it when cops shoot an unarmed kid to death from behind, just for calling them what they are–putschists?

And what is this “old movie” shit? This is the legitimate, elected president of Honduras you’re talking about. He has a right to be there, and what’s more, he has a right to return to his desk and finish out his term. As I’ve shown quite clearly here, his statements are NOT “wild allegations”, they are calmly stated FACTS. Facts which cast your own country in a very suspicious light, given its lackadaisical response (and the ongoing presence of Lanny Fucking Davis outside of prison walls).

Gee, Lew, do you think maybe YOU could cut out the wild allegations and remember that YOU are not the sheriff in this cowboy flick?

BTW, Sister Dianna Ortiz, whose rape and torture in Guatemala you covered up (among other nasty things), would be justified in thinking you’re a wanker too.

PS: Honduras also thinks you’re a dick.

2. Tom Fucking Ryan. For giving Honduras even more ridiculous “advice” than the above:

As much as the government of Honduras wishes to silence the media and place Zelaya in a cone of seclusion, the social networks will once again show the world a new power to inform and narrate. Zelaya should relax and let the people decide this peacefully with tweets, blogs, picture uploads, and social network postings with nudges.

Oh yeah, brilliant idea, Tom! When the vast majority of Zelaya supporters are too poor to own computers, don’t speak/write English, and are constantly getting their electricity cut by the putschists (and cellphone service likewise), yeah, the future of Honduras will be decided by the chattering classes who Twitter, all right…FROM MIAMI. Where protests like this can take place…

…only to be conveniently ignored by those whom they inconvenience only slightly. And to be vilified by the right-wing mafia that rules the city, and which has Washington’s ear to this day.

3. Bianca Fucking Micheletti. Will someone kindly explain to me how the dictator’s daughter gets cleared to land at Tocontín Airport when no one else does, not even diplomats of the OAS? And while you’re at it, could you please explain to me why it took the US so long to kick her and her putschist girlfriends out?

4. Peter Fucking Schechter. How the hell does a crappy thriller-writer come to be a PR flack for the Honduran dictatorship? Easy. He writes crappy fiction. It’s second nature to him to fictionalize the crappy dictators! But of course, the pay is much better this time ’round. Stands to reason: the dictator and his cronies are all Honduran oligarchs. A $292,000 contract is chicken feed to them. They can easily afford this penny-dreadful dreckwriter, or ten of him.

5. Matt Fucking Gurney. Most brain-dead “pundit” ever? Possibly. A wanker? Definitely. Of course he “writes” (if you can call it that) for the National Post, which is arguably Canada’s Worst Newspaper. Somehow, that doesn’t surprise me, either. Maybe he and Wanker #4 can get together sometime and craft a coherent PR strategy for the Honduran dictatorship; lord knows they’re both overpaid apologists for it already!

6. and 7. Eduardo Fucking Azeredo and José Fucking Sarney. Excuse me, guys, but you’re not the president of Brazil. Lula is. You’re not the foreign minister, either. Celso Amorim is. You don’t get to decide whether Mel Zelaya gets to use the embassy as a refuge; Lula and Amorim do. Your whining and carping are giving aid and comfort to a foreign military dictatorship. Have you forgotten what it was like when your own country was under one? Apparently, you have. That’s what makes you wankers this week.

8. The Fucking Dissociated Press. For repeatedly referring to the Gorilletti dictatorship as an “interim government” when it is nothing of the sort. Are they being paid to legitimize these bastards too? Sure smells that way.

9. William Fucking Ratliff. Nice job of completely obfuscating the law, Ratty. Of course, it’s easy to do that when you’re writing for Forbes–another publication geared explicitly to defending the
interests of ruling-class types, oligarchs, and other rich idiots. Try living as Hondurans on the ground do, and you’ll soon see what’s wrong with your bogus legalistic argument. The fact is, there WAS a coup. And this is what’s being done to keep the illegal “interim government” in place:

No coup, eh? Funny, but such authoritarianism doesn’t ever follow full, free democratic elections. It can’t, because in a democracy, it’s the people who rule and the politicians who serve (not the other way around). It does, however, follow coups–palace or military. (Or in this case, both.)

10. Sara Fucking Miller Llana. Oh look, the CS Monitor’s resident idiot-about-LatAm has piped up to the general effect that Gorilletti must not be such a bad guy, because he “dramatically dialed back his tough rhetoric” one day after erasing all civil liberties in Honduras. Well, duh, Sara! The reason he did it is because he no longer has to talk tough; he’s got cops shooting unarmed kids in the back, and soldiers tear-gassing and sonically harassing the Brazilian embassy. In other words, he’s shifted from tough talk to ugly action. Do you need a deadly lungful of cyanide-laced “tear” gas to drive it home to you just what a bad guy he really is, Sara?

11. Philip Fucking Crowley. Backpedal, backpedal, backpedal all you like. You can’t “unsay” what’s been said by Lew Fucking Anselem, especially if it’s stupid!

12. Romeo Fucking Vásquez. Fascist dickweed general blames ordinary Hondurans for the violence that’s broken out, completely ignoring his own role in spearheading the military coup. Did I mention he’s also a professional car thief? Don’t expect film at 11, the lamestream media will never cover that.

13. Fucking Miami morons. They’re not just ex-Hondurans, but ex-Cubans demonstrating there. Figures that the Miami Whore gives them sympathetic coverage. Their most moronic slogan? “Elections yes, Zelaya no”. Pardon me, but elections put Zelaya in office. The one led to the other; you can’t have it both ways. If your candidate loses, tough luck–that’s democracy!

14. Hillary Fucking Clinton. Yes, I’ve finally come to truly despise that woman. It took me a long time and a lot of benefit-of-the-doubting, but now, I’m there, baby. See Wanker #1, read through all those appalling links, and then ask yourself how someone can on the one hand listen to the sufferings of Dianna Ortiz, and on the other, KNOWINGLY keep a rumor-mongering, vicious scumbucket like Lew Anselem on the payroll of the State Dept. (which I know reads this blog!) One simply cannot do it–unless one is one helluva sold-out wanker. Welcome to the Wank Club, Hill!

15. Adolfo Fucking Facussé. Shouldn’t it be him, and not Mel Zelaya, going on trial for his part in this blood-stinking coup? In a just and truly democratic world, it would be. But the term “democracy” has once more been hijacked by greedheads in Honduras, so don’t look for it to happen anytime soon. This “recommendation” is not a “compromise”, it’s just another putsch.

16. The fucking lamestream media. Still toadying to putschists. Not surprising, either, since the biggest Honduran newspaper (and coup cheerleader) is owned by a putschist. Hey, it’s not just third-rate thriller writers doing PR for this trainwreck–it’s seventh-rate stenographers, too!

16 1/2. And the “concerned” trolls at the FAIR blog are also doing their part to promote this bad fiction. How touching!

17. Jim Fucking DeMint. For going on a treasonous “fact-finding” mission to Honduras…which was only to demonstrate support for the coup, as anyone with eyes can see. Please tell me he did NOT do this on the public dime…and if he did, please tell me he can be impeached. In fact, why not just impeach him anyway, parasite that he is?

18. Ileana Fucking Ros-Lehtinen. The would-be Castro-killer is, naturally, Gorilletti’s bitch. (She’s a bitch anyway, but it would take all day to count the ways, so let’s not go there.)

19. John Fucking Bolton. Srsly, who cares what the Sheepdog “thinks” about Honduras, or anything else for that matter? FUX Snooze does, but then, they’re putschists too. And right at home, yet.

20. Neil Fucking Reider. Since when is it a Canadian ambassador’s job to shill for elections under a putschist regime? Since NEVER. This recognition bullshit has gone far enough. (Harpo is Wanker 20 1/2 for not withdrawing all Canadian diplomats from Honduras the week of the putsch.)

21. Roberto Fucking Dickeletti Gorilletti Pinochetti Micheletti. Bitch, please–the “I’ll take my ball and just go home” gambit only works when you’re away from home. You can’t do it to foreign diplomats–especially not since you’re as illegitimate as a medieval pope’s kid. Even if Mel dies tomorrow–and he’d better not, or even more blood will be on YOUR hands–it still won’t make YOU president.

And finally, a shout-out and shut-up to Jasper the village idiot and resident communion-wine bibber, who thinks Mel is a “Marxist dictator” and wonders why I support him (and Chavecito). Duh, because they’re both elected, because it’s the will of the people, and because it fucks up the shit of right-wing dictator-loving idiots like you, d
ude. What better reason?

Good night, and get fucked.