Short ‘n’ Stubby: Here come da ‘pocalypse!


Yes, Ms. Manx is back…and all who have not been “saved” are going to have their souls eaten by the Cats! And by “saved”, I simply mean “educated in the use of the common sense their mamas gave them”. Assuming their mamas didn’t, which is surprisingly common in the Babylon to the south of us. Cases in point, coming right down…

Remember those infamous “Michigan Militia” groups of the Clinton era? They’re ba-ack, and one of them is now going by the inexplicable name of Hutaree.

Wikipedia says they’re not officially affiliated with the original goon squads, which disbanded around the time Clinton’s latter term was coming to a close, but then, who can tell? These groups are all clandestine and seemingly autonomous, so formal connections would be hard to prove. But they do talk amongst themselves; they meet at gun shows and other far-right-wing functions. And “inspiration” is easy to spot, as is influence. So I wouldn’t say that they’re not a metastatic form of the original Michigan mental-as-anythings.

And why does all this shit happen in Michigan? Probably for the same reason that Tim McVeigh was from Western New York, which sits just across Lake Ontario from where I am. There be rednecks in the northern states, yep. And they’re just as full of self-righteous grudgifyin’ as any bubba from down south. Hilariously, some of them like to think they are freedom and homeland defence. Riiiiiight. With those guts? A pregnant cow could outrun them, and a well-oiled government machine could just bulldoze them where they stand, if it ever came to an actual showdown with the “tyranny” they dread. They may as well arm themselves with water pistols. But hey, they’ve issued a statement claiming to be pleased with the peaceful arrests of these strange dudes, so I’ll give them credit for a little common sense, anyway. (That was one second of the two a day when these stopped clocks tell correct time, folks. Enjoy it while it lasts.)

Of course the Freeper Nazis, apparently none of whom work as Michigan cops themselves, think this is all just proof of how things have gone commie all of a sudden now that some niggruh is president. And that the country’s gone to hell in a handbasket now and only now. Where the fuck were they when Dubya took the country there, handbasket and all, and then left it for the next guy to clean up (which he’s not doing nearly fast enough, thanks to freaks like these)? Oh yeah: They were cheerleading for Dubya. Who of course could do no wrong, even when he was wrecking fucking everything.

There sure does seem to be a wave of Teh Crazy breaking across the US as of last week, when healthcare reform–very limited, very wimpy reform–finally passed. Alan Grayson’s five-year-old son picked up the phone only to hear a loony woman threaten his dad’s life (be sure you read the comments on that story, they’re full of loonies too. Some of whom appear to be paid operatives for the electoral campaign of Grayson’s Republican opponent.) Meanwhile, another true-believing wacko has threatened Eric Cantor, a Republican. Heaven only knows why. Perhaps because he wasn’t obstructionist enough?

So who are these Hutaree people, and what are they on about? Here’s a short primer. The leader’s ex-wife, who says he “has a temper”, “can get radical” and “wants things done his way”, is interviewed here. (Little Hitler and Mussolini Piccolomini leaders in “freedom-loving” toy armies–oh, the ironies of militia life!)

And when you’re done with all that, go visit Ms. Pale for further entertainment by the Father, the Son and the Holy Smoke. Apparently these rapturists think His Barackness is the Antichrist, and that this is the Tribulation, or some such. Nuh-unh…no rivers, oceans and fountains of blood. And no suddenly disappeared railroad engineers, streetcar motormen, or satanic zits from the Burny Place. Sorry, this is not the End Times. This is just another Great Disappointment!

Go home NOW, people, and put your guns away. You’ll shoot your eye out! And you have trouble enough seeing straight as it is, no thanks to the big insurance corporations who should be the real targets of your ire.

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4 Responses to Short ‘n’ Stubby: Here come da ‘pocalypse!

  1. Wren says:

    “Meanwhile, another true-believing wacko has threatened Eric Cantor, a Republican. Heaven only knows why. Perhaps because he wasn’t obstructionist enough?”
    Most likely it is because Cantor is a Jew and nothing to do with his political positions. When it comes to psychopaths, who can ever really know for sure though.
    The feeling of going sane in an insane world just keeps getting stronger and stronger down here. Stay safe, ‘Bina.

  2. Thanks, amigo…and yeah, what an insane world. We have the Harpocrats up here trying to ram their fundie-fascism down everyone’s throat, and whenever they start having to face hard questioning, they shut down Parliament (how democratic!) Their schtick seems to be a combination of BushCo Lite and the worst dregs of the Mike Harris dictatorship we had in Ontario during the 1990s (the current federal finance minister was Mikey’s justice minister. Bleah!)
    Good to hear from you again. Hope all’s well your way.

  3. Polaris says:

    Some years ago I saw a film of the pot-bellied, Michigan Militia patriots attempting to run, flop and fire from the prone position.
    Their running resembled a slow motion, drunken stumble and their bloated bellies made it hilariously impossible to flatten down. They’d get their asses shot off in a real encounter.

  4. Rings true. Like I said, a pregnant cow could outrun ’em…and probably outfight ’em, too.

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