There once was this dude, Jason Kenney…

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Sorry, I’m not up for a limerick tonight. I just thought I’d share what happened to Jason Kenney’s Wikipedia page before someone changes it back:

Kenney was born in Oakville, Ontario and raised in Saskatchewan. He graduated from the Athol Murray College of Notre Dame, a Catholic, co-educational, boarding high school located in Wilcox, Saskatchewan. He studied philosophy at the St. Ignatius Institute of the University of San Francisco, a Jesuit university in San Francisco, California. However he dropped out before completing his undergraduate degree to begin work in Saskatchewan provincial politics. He did not always want to be a politician. He wanted to be a lumberjack. Leaping from tree to tree, as they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia. The Giant Redwood. The Larch. The Fir! The mighty Scots Pine! The lofty flowering Cherry! The plucky little Apsen! The limping Roo tree of Nigeria. The towering Wattle of Aldershot! The Maidenhead Weeping Water Plant! The naughty Leicestershire Flashing Oak! The flatulent Elm of West Ruislip! The Quercus Maximus Bamber Gascoigni! The Epigillus! The Barter Hughius Greenus!

With my best buddy by my side, we’d sing! Sing! Sing!

[singing] I’m a lumberjack, and I’m okay. I sleep all night and I work all day.

MOUNTIES: He’s a lumberjack, and he’s okay. He sleeps all night and he works all day.

BARBER: I cut down trees. I eat my lunch. I go to the lavatory. On Wednesdays I go shoppin’ And have buttered scones for tea.

MOUNTIES: He cuts down trees. He eats his lunch. He goes to the lavatory. On Wednesdays he goes shopping And has buttered scones for tea.

He’s a lumberjack, and he’s okay. He sleeps all night and he works all day.

BARBER: I cut down trees. I skip and jump. I like to press wild flowers. I put on women’s clothing And hang around in bars.

MOUNTIES: He cuts down trees. He skips and jumps. He likes to press wild flowers. He puts on women’s clothing And hangs around in bars?!

He’s a lumberjack, and he’s okay. He sleeps all night and he works all day.

BARBER: I cut down trees. I wear high heels, Suspendies, and a bra. I wish I’d been a girlie, Just like my dear Papa.

MOUNTIES: He cuts down trees. He wears high heels, Suspendies, and a bra?!

[talking] What’s this? Wants to be a girlie?! Oh, My! And I thought you were so rugged! Poofter!…

[singing] He’s a lumberjack, and he’s okay. He sleeps all night and he works all day.

He’s a lumberjack, and he’s okaaaaay. He sleeps all night and he works all day.

If you’re wondering what brought this on, rumor has it that Jason is a screaming closet case. And certainly his removal of gay rights from all mention in the latest edition of the citizenship guide for would-be new Canadians would indicate the clanking presence of something skeletal and pink-tutu-clad doing the Watusi in five-inch heels behind his closet door…as would his priors.

(Heh: The little wanker is on the defensive already. This should be gooooood.)

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This entry was posted in Canadian Counterpunch, Isn't It Ironic?, Isn't That Illegal?, Karma 1, Dogma 0, Teh Ghey, Teh Heterostoopid. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to There once was this dude, Jason Kenney…

  1. Me says:

    There is nothing original in this. It is direct plagiarism of a Monty Python skit.

  2. Yes, and what of it? I believe that was the whole idea.

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