Goaliefail: Cherchez la femme!

soccer-fail.jpg

Could a tall Torontonian blonde be the reason for the sudden choking of the goalie above? Some people think so…

Two British tabloid newspapers, the Daily Mail and the Daily Mirror, blamed [Toronto-based model Elizabeth] Minett on Monday for goalie Robert Green’s stunning miss on a routine shot that allowed the U.S. to tie in its World Cup match against England on Saturday.

She and Green, 30, met two years ago in Toronto when his West Ham team was touring Canada, the Daily Mail said. They’d lived together in a luxe flat overlooking the Thames on the Isle of Dogs in London until about a month ago, when the relationship ended.

Green’s agent Andy Evans was quoted by the Daily Mirror Sunday night as insisting the split has not affected the goalie’s focus in South Africa.

He said: “Their relationship was over many months ago. This really is not an issue and Rob has gone into the World Cup prepared mentally and as focused as possible.”

Okay, so it’s a non-story, right? Right?

Minett herself issued a terse “no comment” Monday through two of the modelling agencies she works for: Next Models of Toronto and Elite Models, which has offices in Toronto and Miami. Minett is on the roster for the Miami TV division of Elite.

But three months ago, she was happily telling a British tab that she was going to South Africa to cheer Green on and would resort to “French or French-Canadian” to thwart the spies who tried to eavesdrop on the couple.

“They will not be able to understand a thing,” she was quoted as saying by the tabloid Daily Star. “Even the French media will not be able to understand.

“I will put the Canadian accent on so strong. That’s my plan anyway. I started learning French when I was 3 and am pretty much fluent. I even have a cousin living in Paris who is married to a Frenchman.”

Zut alors! Cherchez la femme!!! Maybe she was there after all, flashing her tittaes at him from the stands at the crucial moment!!! Quick, scan the crowd footage frame by frame!!! She must be in there SOMEWHERE!!! When all else fails, blame a blonde!!!!!1111athousandeleventyone!!!

Or you can just do what I do, and blame it all on the racket from those fucking vuvuzelas. Who can hear himself think when surrounded on three sides by a swarm of killer bees? Jeez.

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2 Responses to Goaliefail: Cherchez la femme!

  1. Jim Hadstate says:

    Wherever she was, thank God for tall Canadian Women with great bodies (Well, come to think of it, women all have great bodies, since I’m not one of those men who raves after the toothpick model types. And Canadian women always seemed to be very attractive in a healthy sort of way. How’s that for digging myself out of a hole?). Anyway, if she was the cause of his moment of inattention, we all love her for it. And we would like her to insist that he wear a picture of her on his sleeve where he has to look at it all the time, ‘cuz I’m sure we will be facing them again.

  2. LOL! Actually, from what I saw of the oopsie, I think he was just a split-second off his timing that day. Too bad for England, but he’ll recover.

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