Paging Dr. Darwin…paging Dr. Charles Darwin…


This is the safest way to carry a gun in your pants, guys. It’s only a tattoo.

We have an admission for Sudden Gene Pool Exit, incoming

A man accidentally shot himself in the testicles at Lowe’s Home Improvement store in Lynnwood Sunday afternoon, police said.

The man’s handgun, which was in the waistband of his pants, went off at about 12:30 p.m. — an apparent “accidental discharge,” according to Shannon Sessions, a Lynnwood police spokeswoman.

“It made a loud noise and scared a lot of people in the store,” Sessions said. “I believe he shot himself in the testicles and he also had some injuries to his leg and foot. He was obviously in shock.”

Nobody else was hurt and no one appeared to be with the man, she said.

Police and fire responded, and the man was rushed to Harborview Medical Center in Seattle before police had a chance to interview him extensively. Sessions had no further details about the man.

And this, gunboys, is why you don’t get so blatant about your penis-compensation issues. You end up not only curing your own testosterone poisoning the hard way, you also blow any chances of producing more stupid gits like yourself. Also, you make yourself look like a real fucking idiot in that other bastion of masculinity–the hardware store.

Any questions?

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3 Responses to Paging Dr. Darwin…paging Dr. Charles Darwin…

  1. Jim Hadstate says:

    I’ll try to type while I try to control the peals of laughter.
    I guess this guy gives a whole new meaning to concealed carry, huh?…or
    “You may be happy to see me, but I guess that really IS a gun in your pocket!”…or
    “Isn’t it funny how George had to move from the Bass to the Soprano section in the church choir?”
    OK, I’ll stop now.

  2. Paul Escobar says:

    L O FUCKING L!!!!
    Let that be a warning to you kids: The NRA does not uphold your constitutional right to a sex life.

  3. As the old song goes, “This is my rifle, this is my gun, this is for fighting, this is for fun!” Looks like this one’s not gonna be having much fun from now on.

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