WTF is the matter with Alberta?


Since I’ve been getting trolled all over the Internets by a disproportionate number of Albertans lately, I’ve been wondering what’s the problem with them. Apparently, I’m not the only one. (See Jymn’s comment here.) The Mound of Sound has also been inquiring into the problem, and offers the following insight:

Years ago the “Rest of Canada” had laws requiring properly installed, properly certified baby seats to be in all cars used to transport infants. Guess who didn’t? Full points if you guessed Alberta.

There was a movement in the Alberta legislature to mandate the use of babyseats but it was angrily resisted, with real indignance, by the Conservative government of the day. Their explanation? Why, forcing drivers to have proper car seats for infant passengers would intrude on their rights. Those sphincters actually stood right up on their hind legs and said that and said it again and again and again. Those uber-right mouthbreathers eventually relented but only after being dragged, kicking and screaming, through their own filth. If you ever needed a window into the dark, perverse mind of the far right, there it is.

They’re so pro-life out in Alberta, eh? They care so much about the unborn that they won’t strap in their already-born infants in car seats–or at least, they won’t require people to do so by law, although many of them would like nothing better than to see abortion outlawed. Consistency and logic: Two more things that alienate the West.

Well, that explains their mindset, but still not how it got that way. I wonder: could it be something in the water? Bovine feces has been ruled out; there are more head of cattle being raised in my home province of Ontario (where cowboy hats are, strangely, much scarcer.) That leaves either sour gas, or tailings from the tar sands.

Don’t worry, Alberta, science will deal with you yet. You will be dragged, kicking and screaming, into the 21st Century–and even defunding universities in the Rest of Canada to your own advantage won’t help you.

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6 Responses to WTF is the matter with Alberta?

  1. I’ve lived here most of my life and I’m still waiting for the world to drag the political right in Alberta kicking and screaming into the 20th century….

  2. Pellanor says:

    WTF is the matter with Sabina Becker?
    I came to your blog from a random google search, and browsed through some of your random stuff in the archive and found it to be fairly decent. Then I head to the main page and find this garbage.
    Let’s start with the sweeping statements, implying that every Albertan is an uber-right mouth breather, poisoned by the oil and natural gas that so plagues our province. And of course we all wear cowboy hats and would rather have babies bouncing around helplessly in car accidents rather than allow a single case of abortion.
    I honestly hope you don’t believe that swill.
    Yeah sure, there are some idiot here, and I guess they like trolling you more than people from other provinces. But don’t let those few tarnish the reputation of an entire province.
    To make matters worse you don’t even have decent arguments in your post. “Oh Noes! I’ve been trolled by Albertans, who may have also taken longer to pass a law, which I like, than the rest of the country. Therefore all Albertan’s are evil and will destroy the world with their idiocy!”.
    Also care to provide any sources for your info. I mean, you’ve got a blog there but, as most people know, you don’t need to know what you’re talking about to write a blog. How many years behind the rest of the country was Alberta? The post you quite makes it sound like the whole country has had these laws for at least a decade, while Alberta just got around to doing so now. I did a little research myself and was able to find that all provinces have had this law in place since 2008 at the latest (see here). Though I guess it is easier to just rant and yell rather than do research.
    On top of that, why is it such a bad thing to resist a law like this? Why shove laws down our throats that just protect me from myself? I would much rather see more money being put towards education (which I’ll admit is a weakness of the Alberta government), so that people better know how to protect themselves and others. Of course it would seem like common sense to protect innocent children from uneducated parents who don’t know better through a law like this, but how far do you take it? In PEI they require, by law, that children who are ten or younger be in booster seats. Ten!? That seems a little old to me. A larger than average ten year old is about the same size as a smaller than average asian (I kid…). Of course they may be right, there may have been some great studies that show a huge increase in the safety of ten year old’s who are in booster seats. Then again those studies may have been done by the manufacture of the booster seats in order to get the government to force people to buy more of them. Just because a law sounds like it’s going to protect children, doesn’t mean it is. Nor does it mean the law isn’t also violating some of your other rights, like a lot of the internet laws which are supposed to ‘catch pedophiles’ but monitor everybody equally.
    I’m personally proud that my government didn’t just pass “Think of the Children!” legislation without a fight. I’m also glad that they made this law. However your mindless, uneducated rant sickens me. You can target your hate at politicians, and you can bemoan the uneducated masses that voted for them, just don’t forget that a lot of people didn’t vote for them, and that sometimes those politicians were the lesser of two evils (which by itself is something very wrong). But whatever you do, don’t hate a group of people solely because of the region they call home, the colour of their skin, their sexual preference, or any other meaningless grouping.

  3. WTF is the matter with YOU, “Pellanor”? If you’re gonna get all pompous and flame me out for stating the simple fact that Alberta is full of fucking whackjobs (and it must be, because who else would vote for Harpo & Co., not to mention fifty straight years of corrupt SupposiTories, and call THAT the “lesser of two evils”?), then you’ve already lost the argument. The least you could do is try not to act like yet another one of them. Who the hell is “proud” of a government that won’t pass common-sense legislation like mandatory child safety seats “without a fight” but a fucking whackjob? What a way to make your case there, pal. Or rather, way to make my case for me.
    Why not go take up the Mound of Sound on his words, instead of putting them in MY mouth and then flaming me? Again, way to make my case for me. Not only is there something in the water out there that makes you crazy, it also makes you too dumb to go to the source of what’s bugging you and take it up with HIM. If you’re gonna go calling people uneducated, do it with the correct ones, lest you smear yourself with some of that shit you’ve got in your hand.
    And yeah, Alberta’s full of flaming rightards. Not being nasty, just telling the painful truth. Tell me I’m wrong…go on. When’s the last time you guys elected a Liberal, or an NDP government, perish the thought? Can’t remember? Don’t worry, neither can I. Wasn’t within MY lifetime, that much I do know. The main challenger to the Alberta Tories these days…is a party to the (very far) right of them. Oh wait, lemme guess, that was the greater evil. Mea culpa!
    WTF is the matter with your province? Oh, surely not knee-jerk rightardedness. No, we’re not allowed to even SUGGEST that! That’s “mindless, uneducated” bigotry! Gimme a fucking break. Ontarians DO read the papers, you know. We understand what’s going on. We are better educated on average than most of you. Give us some fucking credit for brains and real decency here. When OUR Tories dicked us around and let bullshit contaminate our water supply (literally), we threw them out of office. How ’bout you?
    Sure, you have some people there that have a modicum of sanity, but what does it say for them when they’re so easily steamrolled by those who don’t?
    It doesn’t say much for your hardy western character if you let this light-hearted post get to you so much, either. Did your sense of humor fall out the top of your head when the doctor dropped you on it? Or did it shake loose because you weren’t required to be strapped in as a kid? Grow a skin already. And be sure to get a spine to go with it.
    PS: Another damn Calgarian. Yippee-yi-o-ki-yay. Why do so many trolls come from there? Worst driving habits in the nation, too.

  4. Jim Hadstate says:

    Go get ’em ‘Bina. Didn’t you say once that Alberta had the honor of spawning Harpo the Whale Turd? Or it was one of those other flatulent as a pancake provinces.
    BTW, I love the way you out the trolls and where they are REALLY from. You would think that by know that they would know that their IP address is as traceable as their area code.

  5. Polaris says:

    Automobiles began to become fairly common in the United States around 1910, but another 50 years or so of stalling by the automakers passed before simple seatbelts became standard.
    The car companies had been concocting all kinds of silly excuses to avoid low cost seatbelts.

  6. Cowflop-gary, if I’m not mistaken, is Harpo’s old stomping ground. All hat and no cattle. Worst drivers in Canada, too…they think the freeway is a big fat chuckwagon race.
    And yeah, IPs will tell me roughly where someone’s from. The day I figure out how to pinpoint their street addresses, the trolls will be wetting themselves, guarandamnteeya. (evil cackle)

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