Dear Miami Herald: You are SO full of shit.

That’s Chavecito, on VTV today. Does he look to you like he’s at death’s door? No? Then you’re more observant than one Antonio María Delgado, crap reporter extraordinaire.

I know I should take it for granted that the Miami Hairball — er, Herald — can’t report the news from Latin America to save its miserable life. So shit like this shouldn’t surprise me. And it doesn’t. But still, this is so disgustingly despicable….

In a sign his condition might be deteriorating, Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez has been sent again to the Carlos Arvelo Military Hospital in Caracas. Wednesday, his doctors were considering transferring him to the private Caracas Clinics Hospital, where he could be better treated for his renal-insufficiency problems, said sources close to the situation.

The sources, speaking on condition of anonymity, said that Chávez entered the hospital on Tuesday.

“His general condition was compromised,” said one of the sources who saw him when he entered the Military Hospital. “When he arrived, he was in very serious condition.”

Another source said that he was in a bad state when members of his secret service took him from the Presidential Palace to the hospital.

…not to mention hilarious when you get to the final paragraph:

On state-run television Thursday, Chávez asked Venezuelans to “pay no attention to the rumors” of his declining heath. He also said he would be making public appearances again when he fully recovers from his cancer treatment.

Gee, even THEY have to admit that he’s not dying, or anywhere near it. Albeit grudgingly. Wouldn’t want to compromise our carefully established position as a disociado rag, would we now?

And they want us to pay to read the full version? Thanks, but no thanks. When you try to titillate with false facts from anonymous (and thus probably bogus) “sources” that even the bizmedia and commercial whore media are not reporting (because, for a wonder, they both decided to go with the facts when it comes to Venezuela), you don’t deserve any more eyeballs. Or money.

So yeah, Herald, I guess what I’m trying to say is, You are SO full of shit. And it’s getting so monotonous having to call you out on it all the time that even the supermarket tabloids are looking downright interesting. Even Bat-Boy is more of a real entity than these anonymous “sources” you set so much store by.

Why not just come clean and admit that you’re making shit up?

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