Stupid Sex Tricks: Dept. of Unenforceable Laws, Ukraine

Straight from the Wide World of WTF, we get wind of some wildly stupid fetus fetishism from Eastern Europe:

“An incredible project of law was presented before the parliament of Ukraine: banning the missionary position in sexual relations.”

That was the headline on Actualidad RT. The authors of this controversial project of law explained that with it, they intend to combat the problem which is consuming the country little by little: low birth rates.

Also, this bill proposes penalizing abortion and couples who go more than 25 years without conceiving; these would see the man’s salary garnished by 6%.

According to parliamentary deputy Natalia Korolevskaya, who is one of the principal defenders of the proposed law, the idea was born of a series of studies which demonstrate that the classical position, known as the missionary position, is highly inefficient for conception.

Korolevskaya not only said that, but emphasizes that “rear entry” intercourse, which in Chile and other countries is known as the “doggy style”, is much more efficient for conceiving children.

Even though the bill has not even been revised, various reactions from within the parliament suggest that it could be approved.

Deputy Oleg Lyashko was especially enthused with the idea and applauded upon hearing Korolevskaya’s words.

However, there are also those opposed to this project. Activists assure that the law is no more than a media strategy to distract attention from the anti-abortion initiative which is under debate. All of this, according to the opposition, is a series of assaults against the rights of women.

Translation mine.

Y’know, I was always of the impression that the missionary position was recommended, among other things, precisely BECAUSE it is so conducive to conception. After all, it sends those little wigglers right along the most direct path to Ye Olde Fallopian Tubes. But hey, I guess those Ukrainian lawmakers know more about these things than I do; after all, I’m a socialist who’s child-free by choice, and they’re a bunch of fucking boneheads who don’t grasp the very basic fact that women aren’t having kids because the Ukrainian economy is in such a hopelessly pathetic state. Which, BTW, they will only make MORE hopeless by garnishing the wages of couples who fail to conceive.

And no, this is not a joke. It’s a real bill. There’s even a petition against it here. Sign it, and keep it in mind next time you go to vote. Today it’s Ukraine; tomorrow, unless you lose the apathy and ignorance, it could be a lot closer to home.

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4 Responses to Stupid Sex Tricks: Dept. of Unenforceable Laws, Ukraine

  1. thx1138 says:

    “…they’re a bunch of fucking boneheads who don’t grasp the very basic fact that women aren’t having kids because the Ukrainian economy is in such a hopelessly pathetic state.”

    The truth is, with such tiny forearms, it would be difficult for them to grasp anything.

  2. megazoyd says:

    Hi Sabina. I’m Chilean and I have been to Ukraine. How did you know that we call “doggy style” to the rear entry? Your remark on that was very funny.
    Ukrainian girls don’t have children because their men are not very protective nor supportive. What happened to Oksana Makar last march may be an extreme example of female mistreatment, however it symbolizes pretty much whats currently going on in the core of the Ukrainian culture. Alcohol, unemployment and the lack of respect towards women will always lead to a low birth rate and an increasing number of abortions.



    • Sabina Becker says:

      Hi, Mega, and thanks for stopping by!

      We call rear entry “doggy style” up here in Canada (and the US and Britain), too…it seems to be the universal nickname for the position. Everybody who’s ever seen two dogs doing it recognizes it right away (although I imagine we could also call it “kitty style”, “horsey style”, etc. In the Kama Sutra they call it the Cow’s Position, which tells you something about India’s sacred cows!)

      What you say about the situation in Ukraine sounds very familiar; women who aren’t assured of a good support system for their families are likely to delay or avoid having children. This is true just about anywhere. And in a poor economy, which Ukraine has had since the Berlin Wall fell, it’s hardly surprising that all those social problems should now be coming to a head. They need a better government than the short-sighted one they’ve got, that much is certain. And the horrible rates of female sex-trafficking all over Eastern Europe are another indicator of just how desperate and rotten things there really are. Those women need jobs that aren’t being created at home, and so they are practically sitting ducks for the mafias and pimps. And of course those guys only see them as a cash cow to be milked, not human beings to be valued, so…

      Long story short, Ukraine is in a world of hurt. And until humanistic values make a comeback there, family values are as good as dead.

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