Stupid Sex Tricks: Not-so-good vibrations

Oh, Brazil. You never disappoint me. Land of great music…and stupid sex-toy thieves:

An armed man in Brazil has heisted an 18-carat gold-plated vibrator selling for $4,000 at a luxury sex shop.

Police say he walked into the Erotica Luxo store in Brasilia, tied up a clerk and took the item from its display case. He stole nothing else.

[…]

Store owner Vanessa Baldini tells the G1 news website the robber might get no satisfaction from Wednesday’s theft. She says the Swedish-made vibrator has a stainless steel core, making removing any gold plating extremely difficult.

And she notes the robber didn’t take the vibrator’s charger.

She says: “I really don’t know what he’ll do. I’ll leave it up to his imagination.”

D’oh.

I don’t know what’s funniest about this: a guy stealing half a sex toy, the fact that gold-plated sex toys exist, or that anyone would charge $4000 for something containing what — $4 worth of gold, tops? That you’d go to more trouble than it’s worth to unplate?

And it isn’t phallic shaped, either, so you can’t even use it for a dildo. Double-d’oh.

Everybody sing! “I’m picking up NO vibrations…bop bop, where is the excitation?”

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