Oh, Brazil. You never disappoint me. Land of great music…and stupid sex-toy thieves:
An armed man in Brazil has heisted an 18-carat gold-plated vibrator selling for $4,000 at a luxury sex shop.
Police say he walked into the Erotica Luxo store in Brasilia, tied up a clerk and took the item from its display case. He stole nothing else.
Store owner Vanessa Baldini tells the G1 news website the robber might get no satisfaction from Wednesday’s theft. She says the Swedish-made vibrator has a stainless steel core, making removing any gold plating extremely difficult.
And she notes the robber didn’t take the vibrator’s charger.
She says: “I really don’t know what he’ll do. I’ll leave it up to his imagination.”
I don’t know what’s funniest about this: a guy stealing half a sex toy, the fact that gold-plated sex toys exist, or that anyone would charge $4000 for something containing what — $4 worth of gold, tops? That you’d go to more trouble than it’s worth to unplate?
And it isn’t phallic shaped, either, so you can’t even use it for a dildo. Double-d’oh.
Everybody sing! “I’m picking up NO vibrations…bop bop, where is the excitation?”