Teh Heterostoopid: The Great Purge


Yeah, this sure sounds like a winning proposition:

ConservativeOnly.com, a U.S. dating site that promises to “purge your personal dating pool of liberals, progressives, socialists, marxists, communists, feminazis and democrats” — has just announced it is expanding into Canada.

“Founder Craig Knight realized that conservatism was not just limited to the United States … it was clear the next step was to expand his dating website to include Canada, United Kingdom and Australia,” reads a January 29 release by the company.

First launched in January, 2012, the site reportedly came into being after Mr. Knight had trouble “finding conservative prospects on mainstream dating sites,” according to an inaugural press release.

Gee, that’s sad. But you know what’s even sadder? Oh, how about this:

Conservatives Only even welcomes same-sex relationships, but the gay pickings are rather slim. A Wednesday search showed only 16 entries in the “men seeking men” category and a rock-bottom three entries in the “women seeking women” category.

For heterosexuals, the ratio of men to women is roughly 3.5 to one — with 215 women to 706 men as per a Wednesday night count.

Yep, that sounds like a real swingin’ hot spot you got there, Mr. Knight.

But wait…it gets sadder:

Many of the profiles are from conservatives claiming to be “trapped” within liberal centres. “I find it very hard to meet a conservative women …living in Los Angeles does not help either,” wrote a 57-year-old man.

“I’m a social and fiscal conservative computer engineer born and raised in the People’s Republic of Iowa City,” quipped a 26-year-old woman.

“Willing to lie about where we met,” wrote a 28-year-old woman from the progressive stronghold of Austin, Texas.

Not all the profiles are looking for romantic love, however, such as a 38-year-old woman searching for a “friend to watch Glenn Beck with” or a 63-year-old woman looking for a friend to ride motorcycles with.

And just to get truly pathetic, let’s look at how the Great Canadian Conserva-Dating Expansion is going so far:

As of January 30, the site’s Canadian offerings were almost non-existent, with zero men and only two women; a 47-year-old woman in Oshawa, Ont. looking for a husband and a “very busy person” from Antigonish, Nova Scotia.


But seriously, folks, by all means, go Galt from the mainstream dating scene, if you really hate the majority of humanity so much. You won’t be missed, I suspect. Just don’t reproduce, ‘kay?

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