Tonight, we have the Venezuelan equivalent of “Things You Have to Believe in Order to be a Conservative”:
Illogical Logic of an Illogical Oppositionist
If a Chavista shops at Mercal: The government gave it to them, nothing but crumbs.
If a Chavista shops at Lubrevas: Some socialists they are, why don’t they go shopping at Mercal or PDVAL?
If a Chavista enrolls their kids in a Simoncito or a Bolivarian School: These Chavistas are dependent on the government, they like living off the benefits of the Revolution, they don’t pay tuition, they get free food for their kids.
If a Chavista enrolls their kids at a private school: What are those socialist brats doing here, why don’t they enroll at a Simoncito or a Bolivarian school? Chavista hypocrites!
If a Chavista spends their vacations by a river cooking stew: That’s how I like seeing those riffraff, going on defending their Revolution, you here by this miserable river, and the government thugs living the good life in a resort.
If a Chavista spends their vacations at a resort: Look at those nouveaux riches, living like capitalists, how shameless, better they camp out by a river cooking stew!
If a Chavista goes to a clinic staffed by Cubans: These fools are looking to get killed by those Cubans, those integral medicine quacks.
If a Chavista goes to a clinic staffed by Venezuelans: What fucking revolution are they preaching? Look at them in our clinic! Why don’t they go to the Cubans?
Don’t even try to understand the opposition, just ignore it!
A few notes: Mercal and PDVAL are Bolivarian markets carrying affordable, subsidized food and other household necessities; Simoncitos are Bolivarian kindergartens; and the Cuban-staffed clinics are the ones that will treat patients for free (Venezuelan-staffed ones are for-profit.)
The other irony of this is that there are actual oppos (not many of them, mind you) in the poorer neighborhoods, too…but you’ll never see them going to the profiteers out of principle!