Get your own damn sandwich.

So, women now rule the world, and men are oppressed? Courtesy of a Facebook friend, here’s an extremely typical example of how guys who make those claims actually “think” (note the quotes):

antifeminist-stoopid

Y’okay. I know this isn’t really a fair fight here, seeing as I’m about to do a battle of wits with an unarmed man. But damn, he’s just begging for an ass-kicking. So I figure I might as well oblige him. Ready? Here goes…

“You’ve never been forced to die in war.”

Yeah, dude, we’ve never fought in a war, never been killed as civilians either, and certainly NEVER been raped to death. Just because women haven’t faced as much historical conscription as men (outside of Israel, maybe), doesn’t mean we didn’t get wiped out too. My mother’s baby sister was forced to die in a war when she was just 11 months old. Of course, she had to do so via malnutrition and dysentery, so there’s that.

“You are not capable of performing the same tasks men do because you lack the ambition and devotion to do a good job at anything. This is why you get paid less.”

Actually, we are more than capable, and we don’t lack “ambition and devotion”. We work twice as hard for half the pay and a quarter of the recognition. There are now more women than men graduating from college. And we don’t get there by sleeping with our profs or batting our eyes at TAs, either. The reason we STILL get paid less is because men can get away with paying us less…and they do. It’s called systemic discrimination; look it up, dude.

“Remember when you weren’t allowed to vote? It’s because you lack the enough logical reasoning skills to take difficult decisions in a sound manner.”

“The enough logical reasoning skills”? What does that even mean? Dude, if you’re gonna pride yourself on your superior reasoning and logic (mad skillz!), shouldn’t you at least learn how to string together a coherent sentence? You know, so you at least LOOK like you have logic and reasoning capacity?

As for the point you’re struggling to make here, it’s also bullshit. Remember all those wars you were being forced to die in while we fragile flowers were sitting safely home, getting raped to death? Product of superior male logic and reasoning, dude. And product of oh-so-superior all-male voting and all-male candidate slates, too.

“You have never ruled the world. Because you lack the enough physical strength and intelligence to lead an army or a nation.”

Again with “the enough”. Dude, if you’re gonna claim superior intelligence — again, learn to string together a coherent sentence, or don’t try to make that argument.

Actually, don’t try to make that argument anyhow. No single individual has ever ruled the world, and none ever will (or should). But if you want rulers of armies and nations, learn to look beyond your own sex once in a while. Jeanne d’Arc organized and led an army at 17. Queen Elizabeth I ruled as an unmarried woman, never relegated to second-class status as a producer of royal heirs. She routinely boasted of her “male brain”, which kept her securely on the throne for 44 years. Queen Victoria ascended the throne of England at 18, and the British Empire grew and prospered under her reign (which she did not abandon to produce heirs and spares at a prodigious rate). Queen Elizabeth II has been on the throne for 61 years now, and may well live to top Queen Victoria’s 63. And don’t get me started on Hatshepsut, the Egyptian queen who crowned herself a pharaoh, and won the respect of her people by her successful forays in both war and peaceful trade. She wasn’t even the first female ruler of Egypt by a long shot!

I’m sorry…what was that you were saying again, dude?

“The only reason you need wimpy support groups (i.e. Feminism) is because of your primal instinct of inferiority.”

“The only reason…is because of”? Again, dude, learn to string together a sentence; that’s fucking pathetic.

BTW, there is no such thing as a “primal instinct of inferiority” peculiar to women; see above. I’m sure that any of the female rulers and leaders I’ve mentioned (who are just a handful among many) would be greatly surprised to find themselves in possession of such a thing. I know I would be!

And if feminism is just a “wimpy support group”, why are you so afraid of it? Why post these moronic, hastily typed screeds if you’re so naturally, primally, instinctually superior? Whom are you trying to convince — us, or yourself? Either way, your flop-sweat is starting to smell.

“You have never invented anything worth mentioning during the last thousands of years of recorded human history. That computer you’re using, the electricity, the house you live in, the car you drive, the job you work for, the gasoline that fuels your car, the desk, the pencil, the paper and everything you use in your everyday life was invented by men.”

O RLY? Ada Lovelace would like a word with you, dude. Without her, Charles Babbage’s “Analytical Engine” would have been no more than a quaint curiosity, with limited (or no) practical use. Female programmers also worked the first electronic computers during World War II. If you use software or algorithms of any sort, you’re using something invented by a woman.

Also, electricity wasn’t invented by men. It wasn’t invented, period. It’s a force of nature that no man can lay claim to. Although a great many men have been killed by it, some in chairs invented by other men. (Ah yes, those superior male brains. They fry so beautifully.)

I don’t know who invented houses, desks, or pencils and paper, and neither do you. But to just assume it must have been a man (because instinct, blah blah) is lazy and pathetic. If you can’t name who invented something, you don’t have the right to assume anything about the inventor’s gender.

BTW, I don’t drive a car. I ride a bike; less polluting. More often, I just walk. Are you going to tell me that men invented walking, too?

“The job you work for”? Again, pathetic sentence structure. Dude, learn English. Use that superior male head of yours for something other than a neck ornament, already.

Also, not everything we use every day was invented by men. So, you were saying…again?

“Mathematics, philosophy, science, medicine, and all of the important building blocks of modern society were created by men.”

Wrong, wrong, wrong. They were all co-created by men and women, throughout history. And the ratio of the former to the latter would have been smaller by far if systemic discrimination had not existed throughout history, and if it did not STILL exist today.

And how do I know it still exists today? Because you said this:

“You are only to provide us men with your physical beauty. Which is the only worthy talent you posses besides bearing children. If you can’t do that you’re worthless.”

Gee, dude, you sure told me. BTW, could you learn to spell possess too, while you’re busy learning English with that mighty manly head of yours?

“Now go make me a sandwich”

What — can’t you take care of that yourself? You’re superior enough to die in war for the sake of philosophy and shit. You invented electricity! I’m too pretty and inferior to do anything but look good and bear you children. You said so yourself. Make your own damn sandwiches.

And don’t forget the period at the end of the sentence, dumbfuck.

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This entry was posted in Angry Pacifist Speaks Her Mind, Good to Know, Isn't It Ironic?, Men Who Just Don't Get It, Merry Old England, Morticia! You Spoke French!, Rivers in Egypt, She Blinded Me With Science, Teh Heterostoopid, The "Well, DUH!" Files, The Hardcore Stupid, Uppity Wimmin. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Get your own damn sandwich.

  1. Neil H. says:

    Oh my, my, my. Where to begin slapping this chucklehead upside said head?

    “You’ve never been forced to die in war.”

    Never cracked open a history book or read a newspaper in your sad, little life, have we? Well, go try it. You’ll find that women have fought and died and suffered in wars or as a result of them the whole, long, sad length of our species’ history. And I wouldn’t be whining about having to die in wars – and then, oddly, acting like there’s something heroic about it when you do – when it’s males who start them 99 times out of 100. War is NOTHING to be proud of, unless your some ten year old playing a video game who’s never been touched by it.

    “You are not capable of performing the same tasks men do because you lack the ambition and devotion to do a good job at anything. This is why you get paid less.”

    Do I really have to pull out a list of successful women politicians, entrepreneurs, academics, sports figures, scientists, engineers, pilots, physicians etc. etc. etc? I have one female cousin who’s a millionaire entrepreneur, another who’s a successful corporate lawyer, and another who was one of the top generals in the armed forces. One of my sisters just earned a degree with highest honours, and the other runs the documentation office of one of Canada’s largest and most prestigious law firms. And the only reason that women are underpaid is, plainly and simply, misogynistic bigotry and male insecurity.

    “Remember when you weren’t allowed to vote? It’s because you lack the enough logical reasoning skills to take difficult decisions in a sound manner.”

    Hoo boy. How can you say this when it’s men who consistently vote for pols who, in the end, almost always work against their best interests? It’s males who are consistently putting corporatist lackeys, Cons, and GOP’ers into office who then strip their voters of worker’s rights, healthcare, pensions, civil rights, environmental protection, and privacy.
    And it’s also said same males who send you to die in corporatist wars (unless, of course, that’s something you like, which, if the case, I’d seriously suggest some time on a psychiatrist’s couch to work out your issues).

    “You have never ruled the world. Because you lack the enough physical strength and intelligence to lead an army or a nation.”

    Rule the World? The entire human population of Planet Earth? Hell, who’d want to? And it’d be impossible anyways. The head of the UN can’t even get them all to agree on a lunch order, for Pete’s sake, AND HE’S A MAN. Your imagined level of power and control is an illusion anyhow, so why even bother. But, with that being said, you again need to read some history as well as a newspaper. Doing so would reveal how howlingly wrong you are.

    “The only reason you need wimpy support groups (i.e. Feminism) is because of your primal instinct of inferiority.”

    Wrong-o, boyo. Many women have a talent for establishing relationships and communication based on mutual interests, co-operation, and empathy, and they’ve organized along the time-honoured principle of strength in numbers. And if there’s any sense of inferiority at all in women, it isn’t instinctual by any means; it’s been inflicted upon them by the men in their lives, by patriarchal institutions and societies, and by other women who’ve suffered from that same hatred.

    “You have never invented anything worth mentioning during the last thousands of years of recorded human history. That computer you’re using, the electricity, the house you live in, the car you drive, the job you work for, the gasoline that fuels your car, the desk, the pencil, the paper and everything you use in your everyday life was invented by men.”

    Again, check your facts before opening your mouth. I can give you a lengthy list of female inventors who’ve made significant contributions to medicine, engineering, electronics, design, chemistry and a host of other fields. And I would argue that you would’ve seen a great many more if women had not been held back by men and deliberately prohibited from having access to quality – and oft times even basic – education and job opportunities.

    “Mathematics, philosophy, science, medicine, and all of the important building blocks of modern society were created by men.”

    OK, this is just getting stupid. There are WAY too many names of women who have changed and added to our understanding of our world and the Universe and our place in it to list here, But I will name just a few from my field of study – astronomy:

    Caroline Herschel – discoverer of eight different comets, undertook and produced the massive correction of the Flamsteed Catalogue

    Jocelyn Bell-Burnell – discoverer of pulsars (rapidly spinning neutron stars that emit highly regular pulses of natural radio energy)

    Carolyn Porco – lead imaging scientist of Project Cassini, discoverer of volcanism on Jupiter’s moon Io

    Vera Rubin – discoverer of rotational discrepancies in spiral galaxies, giving rise to discovery of Dark Matter

    Carolyn Shoemaker – discoverer of over 800 asteroids and 32 comets – more than any other individual

    Priscilla Fairfield-Bok – noted researcher into the structure of spiral galaxies, including our own Milky Way

    Henrietta Leavitt – discoverer of the period-luminousity relationship in Cepheid variable stars, important markers for determining stellar distances

    Hypatia of Alexandria – few of her works exist but she wrote “The Astronomical Canon” (a re-edit of Ptolemy’s “Almagest”) and contributed numerous observations of the stars and planets. Of her it was said…

    “There was a woman at Alexandria named Hypatia, daughter of the philosopher Theon, who made such attainments in literature and science, as to far surpass all the philosophers of her own time. Having succeeded to the school of Plato and Plotinus, she explained the principles of philosophy to her auditors, many of whom came from a distance to receive her instructions. On account of the self-possession and ease of manner which she had acquired in consequence of the cultivation of her mind, she not infrequently appeared in public in the presence of the magistrates. Neither did she feel abashed in going to an assembly of men. For all men on account of her extraordinary dignity and virtue admired her the more”

    There are scores more; shall I go on? No?

    “You are only to provide us men with your physical beauty. Which is the only worthy talent you posses besides bearing children. If you can’t do that you’re worthless.”

    Ahhh, now we see you for the tiny-minded, ignorant foll you are. No further comment or argument required as you’ve buried yourself with your own.

    “Now go make me a sandwich”

    Fuuuuuuck you. Go make your own, you juvenile, misogynistic yutz…

    N.

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