Badvertising: Ur doin it rite. Apology: Ur doin it rong.

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Via.

Dear Corktown Printing Co.:

This is NOT how you advertise your services in a tasteful, timely, topical manner:

The Toronto reader says she received the mailer at work today. “When I called them this morning they didn’t so much as offer an apology,” she writes, “or tell me they would look into it. They simply said, ‘okay.'”

An employee who picked up the phone at Corktown printing confirmed that the mailer was real.

“It’s a little satire,” she told us. “If you looked at it you can see that. There’s no intention for it to be offensive.”

What disingenuous horseshit. Of course there’s an intention for it to be offensive (nice use of the passive, BTW). How else to catch the fickle eye of the potential customer? (Or better said, in your case: Lose business right and left.)

Also:

Dear Agency Next Door,

This is not how you apologize for your mistake, either:

Agency Next Door does not and never will condone or tolerate the abuse of women.

The “Quote Worthy.” campaign in question was meant to expose the ridiculousness of the original defence as posted on Facebook by a local broadcast celebrity. Our intent was to make fun of the celebrity in question’s own unbelievable explanation for his actions.

We are surprised and sorry that someone has interpreted our mailer to include the victims in this particular case. We support their voices and rights 100%.

Did no one ever tell you that “I’m sorry if you were offended” is NOT an apology, either? (Hint: use of the conditional, etc.) Take some fucking responsibility for your shit, fergawdsakes.

And if your intent really was to make fun of Jian Ghomeshi’s disingenuousness, the best way to do that is to stick in a “Just Kidding” somewhere, lest you be guilty of the same rhetorical sins as he is.

A real apology to Jian Ghomeshi’s accusers would also be nice. They have yet to get one from HIM, but you at least have an opportunity to be the better party here. I strongly suggest you take advantage of it (and not in THAT way, duh.)

Love and kisses (just kidding, ha ha!),

Me.

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