Good news (and not so good) from Australia…

…courtesy the Angry Aussie, who knows how to say “fuckwit” with the perfect amount of juicy relish:

Yikes, Australia…didn’t you just HAVE a catastrophic fire season? And now you’re having another? And your conservative politicians don’t want to accept it? Yeah, keep trying to deny that global warming exists, you fuckwits. I hope your houses burn first.

On a happier note, one “Julien Blanc”, serial harasser and sex-assault “instructor”, has been turfed from The Land Down Under after video of him putting chokeholds on women in various countries went viral in the worst possible sense. A firsthand account from the scene is here. And here’s a hilarious satirical summation of what didn’t happen (but we all wish did):

The cruise left Melbourne harbour early last evening for a seminar that The Backburner understands was a dedicated homage to The Little Rascals’ He-Man Woman Haters Club. According to initial reports everything was running according to plan with participants receiving top quality lessons on dehumanising women when the unthinkable happened and the boat was able to complete its journey without becoming shipwrecked.

“It’s truly a disaster,” said a representative of the Ports Authority. “We train for nights like this but you hope it never happens. Seeing all those men return to shore without incident just breaks my heart.”

“Obviously there will be an inquiry into safety standards of all boats in the region. This cannot be allowed to happen again.”

The controversial cruise, which set out on an important journey to ‘neg’ the ocean, had been hotly protested by a group of activists who claim that women were human and shouldn’t be treated like the victims of a creepy hypnotist. The Pick Up Artists are contesting this claim.

Negging the ocean. Yeah, that’s what all the Real Men™ are doing these days. “You know, you’d look so much hotter if you were less green and more blue.”

But hey! I suppose that beats trying to strangle it. The worst thing that could happen is the tide could go out and leave these guys high and dry. Oh, if only.

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This entry was posted in Environmentally Ill, Isn't That Illegal?, Karma 1, Dogma 0, Men Who Just Don't Get It, Oceania, Schadenfreude. Bookmark the permalink.