Marie Antoinette, eat your heart out. Our unelected Conservative senator is miffed because she can’t even eat cheese and crackers without some pesky federal auditor poking his nose in and asking if she really needed to spend so much taxpayer money on fancy meals. Of course she does, you silly peon! Otherwise she’ll just have to make do with — shudder — cold Camembert and broken crackers while she flies first class on unspecified “feminist” missions. (This, mind you, in an economy where free airline snacks are harder and harder for us coach-class peasants to come by.)
I would offer her cake, but I’m all out. Perhaps some freshly laid cat poo will do?