Whom would Jesus rape?

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Religion covers a multitude of sins. And sometimes it gives cover to a multitude of sinners. Like, say, this guy:

According to WMC Action News 5, the 27-year-old Memphis man drove his wife to the church parking lot, where he confronted her with accusations of cheating on him.

Memphis Police told WMC that the man choked and raped his wife while holding her down.

“I am your husband,” he reportedly said. “I can’t rape you. I can get it anytime I want.”

Gee, you don’t think he’s been reading that god-awful recent how-to-rape-your-spouse piece from the “Biblical Gender Roles” blog, do you? Because those ideas don’t just come out of nowhere, you know.

Meanwhile, it’s worth noting that nowhere does Jesus say that wives must submit — sexually or otherwise — to their husbands. That’s the exclusive province of the Apostle Paul, who wrote it in his letter to the Corinthians. If you don’t believe me, do yourself a favor and buy a copy of the KJV bible with Christ’s words in red lettering. Look for all those red letters, and ignore anything in black. You’ll see for yourself that he says not one word about women submitting to men in any way, shape or form. I know this, because I have one of those myself, and I’ve actually read it.

Incidentally, Jesus says nothing about a man being entitled to choke his wife in order to “get it anytime I want”, either. In fact, even Paul, that fork-tongued misogynist, doesn’t say a word to that effect. One can only conclude that the unnamed parking-lot strangler hasn’t read his scriptures, and therefore isn’t qualified to interpret them in his own favor, either.

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