Oh sweet Jesus NO.

Yes, that is an actual dating profile. And if you ever needed a reason to avoid dating someone from an Internet lonely-hearts site, here you go:

The man who used a dating site to lure his victim to an Edmonton garage before killing and dismembering him is now using a dating site for inmates.


In 2011, Twitchell was convicted of the 2008 first-degree murder of Johnny Altinger. Twitchell dismembered Altinger and dumped his remains in a north Edmonton sewer.

Twitchell had testified he lured Altinger to his garage to create online buzz for a short film about a serial killer modelled after TV serial killer character Dexter. He produced the film in the garage two weeks earlier.

Twitchell was sentenced to life in prison with no chance of parole for 25 years and is incarcerated in Saskatchewan Penitentiary, near Prince Albert.

Well, at least this one’s incarcerated and bound to stay that way for a good long while yet. But still, ugh — who’d want to date THAT?

Well, in case you’ve forgotten, Ted Bundy — convicted of over 30 murders of young women and girls — still managed to find “love” (note the quotes, there for a reason) while awaiting his date with Old Sparky. He even got married to some gullible groupie who no doubt thought he was just a poor misunderstood dear — or that she was the special snowflake who would single-handedly “rehabilitate” him. (Spoiler: He was definitely not misunderstood. He went to the chair unrehabilitated and unrepentant, and probably was only sorry about one thing: that he was ever caught.)

And Mark Twitchell wouldn’t even be the first example of a killer who looked for victims in the classifieds, either. That honor goes to Harvey Murray Glatman, the “Lonely Hearts Killer”, who lured his victims by taking out ads in the newspapers, sometimes posing as a “glamour” photographer, and other times as just some lonely schmo looking for love. The ruse worked, and Glatman would take photos of his bound, gagged, terrified victims before raping and strangling them to death.

There really is nothing new under the Sun, and Mark Twitchell is nothing original either. The Internet is just the latest in a long line of ways for the unscrupulous to take advantage of the vulnerable, and for serial killers and rapists to find victims who appear, in their twisted view, to be “willing”. Internet dating sites are the direct descendant of the old back-of-the-newspaper personal ads, so it’s hardly surprising that the usual (and not so usual) assortment of creepers would be found exploiting them.

Mark Twitchell should never have access to another human being again, no matter how “lonely” he might profess to be.

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