Oh man, you have GOT to hear this:
So, basically, Alex just made up a whole new loopy homophobic conspiracy theory…to justify the fact that he spent several thousand dollars on a custom-built robot that can’t say no to him (and can’t give meaningful consent, either, because it’s inanimate). Unlike all those evil human women (those BITCHES!) who keep rejecting him and forcing him to have sex with his hand, his car’s tailpipe, and that knothole in the tree out back that the bees keep buzzing out of.
It’s a rum old world, folks.
PS: Tuck Buckford has taken his own angle on this, and while it’s hard to top Alex for loopiness, he sure does try:
That’s right, Tuck. Keep huffing that whipped cream. Maybe one day you, too, will be as bonkers as Alex.