Happy Women’s Day, from the German Men’s Delegate

A little satirical message from the representative of the menfolks of my ancestral country. For those who can’t understand German, here’s the basic gist: When International Women’s Day begins, on March 8, International Men’s Day — March 9 to March 7 — ends. And that means men have to suck it up and be brave to survive the day. Men are the largest minority in Germany. Since they only have one X chromosome (compared to two for most women), men are effectively disabled, but they don’t get to park in the wheelchair slot. Their brains are constantly being flooded by testosterone, and that’s why men must constantly roar around, doing dangerous (and stupid) things. For this reason, they live (on average) five years less than women. Not fair! And for THAT reason, they earn (on average) 22% more than women. They have to compensate somehow! Meanwhile, there are special female-free safe spaces on the stock exchange, too. So, chin up, men…you’ll get through this day too.

Happy Women’s Day!

PS: Oh fuck me. Tucker Fucking Carlson thinks all these thingsfor real! I knew he was at a mental disadvantage due to being born a privileged idiot of a white dude, but wow. Just wow.

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