Donnie needs to be stopped. NOW.

Yes, he actually tweeted that. And worse, it was a lie:

Fast food fanatic President Trump claimed Tuesday he bought more than 1,000 “hamberders” for the Clemson Tigers football team, contradicting his own aides who put the number of calorie bombs at 300.

The President, who hosted the college sports champions for a fast food feast in the State Dining Room Monday evening, made the inconsistent assertion in a misspelled morning tweet that was quickly mocked on social media.

“Great being with the National Champion Clemson Tigers last night at the White House,” Trump posted. “Because of the Shutdown I served them massive amounts of Fast Food (I paid), over 1000 hamberders etc. Within one hour, it was all gone. Great guys and big eaters!”

Ahead of the junk food chow-down, which featured an assortment of unhealthy dishes from McDonald’s, Wendy’s and Burger King, deputy press secretary Hogan Gidley said the President had copped “more than 300” burgers.

Gidley did not return a request for comment on the inconsistency.

Bad enough that he served fast food — which these footballers could have gotten literally ANYWHERE, at any time — at a formal reception. Worse yet is that he even lied about how much of the greasy crap he actually bought (did anyone seriously think the notorious cheapskate PAID, though?), inflating the number by more than triple the actual amount. Worst of all is that he couldn’t even turn on his own spellchecker so as not to look an even bigger idiot than we all already know he is.

He spelled “hamburgers” like a little kid who doesn’t even know how to pronounce the word. That is literally a toddler mistake.

And it’s coming from the big, fat diaper-baby who is supposed to be running the country, but who has shut it down in a tantrum over a stupid wall that will never be built, and won nothing but the ire of everyone with actual mouths to feed. It’s so bad that the unpaid US air-traffic controllers got sent pizzas by their counterparts up here in the Great North. On the plus side, those controllers were at least fed better than the poor Clemson footballers, whose coaches must be tearing their hair out right now.

But hey. At least he served all that boxed-up junk food on silver platters, by the light of gold candelabras. That’s got to be worth SOMETHING, right?

Yeah. It’s worth the weight of a thousand cold hamburgers, in sheer comedy gold.

And with the jokes all writing themselves at the rate that Donnie can shit them out while tweeting from the upstairs john at the White House, it’s going to put the Onion, the Beaverton, and the Out and Abouter out of business in no time. And who’s gonna buy pizza and “hamberders” for THEM?

Make Satire Great Again!

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