Yes, this meme is a bit old and well-worked-over, but still valid. And I like the new ending, ha ha.
So, you may have been hearing some talk about a coup underway in Venezuela. Or, as they call it in Venezuela, just another disociado guarimba day.
Well, guess what, kiddies? It’s all over but the shouting…and in less time than the big one of ’02 took. And that’s no wonder, because unlike the coup of ’02, this one didn’t succeed in abducting a legitimately elected president from behind his duly constituted desk. For all the talk of military officers being “turned” (no doubt by offers of big dinero from Gringolandia), the loyal Bolivarian forces (and civilians in the street) far outnumbered the traitors and putschists. And that’s why, in just one day, this coup was quashed.
What’s truly remarkable, though, is how this time, the “liberal” media blitz in favor of the coup was even more massive than it was in ’02. Even the Young Turks, who usually get things right, were stupid about this one. (They put the word “coup” in scare quotes, a real credibility-sucking move — it WAS an attempted coup, no quote-unquotes about it.)
But even with all the supposedly reliable mainstream press behind it, the lies were exposed practically as they happened. The lie about Maduro’s loyalists setting fire to an “aid” caravan? Blew up almost as quickly as the truck the oppos torched with their Molotovs. The lie about “massive demonstrations” against the “dictator” Maduro? Easily disproven with wide shots of the far more massive seas of Chavista red. The lie about the forces all turning against Maduro? Unraveling even as I type this.
Mark my words: In the days and weeks to come, you’ll be hearing about how the high command is being purged of every one of those traitors, and you’ll be seeing court-martials and imprisonments of dozens of disgraced ex-officers — which will not be the acts of a dictator, but of a democratic leader who takes the rule of law seriously, as Chavecito did before him. Back then, the coup of ’02 served one very useful purpose in Venezuela: It exposed who in the high command was to be trusted, and who was not.
Okay, maybe two: It also showed the mainstream media of many countries in their true, farcical colors. Here’s a bit of hilarity where Voof Bleetzah — sorry, WOLF Blitzer’s mask slips:
When even a CIA suck-up like the Old U-Boat Captain isn’t buying your lies, you know you’re a lousy liar. Mike Fucking Pompeo is out of his depth here. His predecessors were every bit as evil and slimy as he is, but they were also better at fooling the public.
And now there’s talk of a possible US invasion? Hahahahahaha. Newsflash: This WAS the invasion. The US has shot its wad. If they actually send the troops to Venezuela, they’ll get another Iraq quagmire. Nothing could be worse for Donnie’s already flagging image. So, at “best” (from their viewpoint), they might go with Erik Prince and his Blackwater mercs; the evil little fashy haircut is just salivating for that. (He, too, is reckoning without the Venezuelan people, who can smell a mercenary faster than a heap of rotting, hoarded food — which, you may recall, is one of the things that touched off the Caracazo.)
And finally, as usual, a bunch of self-styled “jagoff comedians” — Jimmmy Dore, Lee Camp, et al — come the closest to the actual truth of what’s going on down there:
Yeah, some “dictator” — not arresting or killing the traitor who dared to grab a megaphone and preach to a “crowd” of trained seals in the rich-folks part of Caracas! And not having the firing squads out in the streets to intercept Pretty Boy Leo either as he fled to the Spanish embassy, ha ha. If Madurito’s a dictator, then hi…I am the actual Queen of Sheba.
And, credit where due: Tucker Fucking Carlson, of all people, actually got something right for a change. A real stopped-clock moment for Bowtie Boy. How about THAT? (Okay, credit where it’s REALLY due: It was his guest who did it — Anya Parampil, a real journalist, called out the actual fake news while Tucky sat there with his jaw off its hinges.)
Jimmy does get one small detail wrong: Donnie may have talked a big game about the “deep state” and ending foreign interventions, but the truth is, like everything else he ever said, that was a lie. Keep in mind that Donnie is a compulsive, chronic, pathological liar, and everything will actually make sense. His political promises are as empty as every one of his marriage vows ever was.