It’s that time of the week again

Yep, it’s that time when I get PMS–Pissed at Morons’ Shit.

You know you want it. I know I need it. So, with no further ado, here’s my list of all the people who really need to fuck the hell off this week:

1. The 200-some-odd fucking morons who stomped a Wal-Mart worker to death today. I don’t know what the urgency was–full bladders and a need to use the WallyLoo, maybe? Whatever it was, it couldn’t have been the goods; WallyWorld is full of crap. No, I don’t shop there, partly on principle and mainly onaccounta I hate the atmosphere. Big boxes give me the willies. Especially when things like this happen.

2. Stephen Fucking Harper. For playing politics like a cheap fucking fiddle. First he threatens to pull federal funding to the parties (his own being the only one that can survive currently without it, go figure), then, when the Liberals, NDP and Bloc threaten a nonconfidence vote and a coalition government on that basis, Harpo sez “j/k, haha–friends?” Frankly, I hope they find their ‘nads and shit-can him. Hell, I’ll even put up with another annoying election call if it gets him off our backs for good. Two minority parliaments in a row, and he still thinks he gets to play Napoleon with a bad French accent? Va baiser ma fesse, Harpo!

3. The fucking Venezuelan opposition parties. For acting just as dictatorial and immature and tantrum-y as Harpo, and considering that their poll numbers are about as bad as his, maybe that explains everything. But still, is it any excuse for threatening to burn a community centre, sending biker gangs to beat up poor folks in a PSUV-supporting neighborhood of an oppo-controlled state, and murdering three Chavista union leaders? Do they seriously suppose that violence and intimidation will do for them what democracy won’t? Have they forgotten so soon that these same people that they love to stomp on, are far more numerous than they, and they have long memories? Apparently, yes. For that, they deserve to get fucked–legally and constitutionally, of course. When’s the middle of the gubernatorial term again? That’s when they can get hit with a recall vote.

4. The fuckheaded fucking fucks who shot up Mumbai. Don’t know who they are, don’t know what they want, don’t care a shit. What I do care about is that innocent people died and a beautiful landmark hotel got torched for no good reason. And that fucking burns me.

5. The fucker known only as “the British Josef Fritzl”. This creep goes his Austrian counterpart several “better” (or worse, rather) by impregnating not one but two of his own daughters–19 times in all. Not only is he a pervert, he profited off it by stealing the welfare money that the daughters got to help them care for their deformed children. And you want to know what’s most sickening about him? The things he says in his own defence. Castration’s too good for him, and so’s hanging. Hmmm, what do you suppose that leaves?

6. Glenn Fucking Beck. How the heck does a hatemonger who has “violence fantasies” about Michael Moore…end up writing a sticky, gooey Christmas book? No shit, I saw it in the drugstore today; put me in a very un-holiday mood to see his ugly, hemorrhoidal mug on the inside back cover flap (yes, I checked to make sure it was really him). If this is supposed to be some kind of image makeover, it’s an epic fail. Bound for the remainder bin in 5…4…3…2…

7. Lori Fucking Drew. The bitch who harassed a sensitive, depressed teen to death on MySpace is getting off mighty lightly, considering what she did. Isn’t she old enough to know better? I’m younger than she is, and having been bullied myself, I definitely do!

8. Anyone who still has the gall to say “Support the Troops” after hearing what the US has done to Afghanistan. I don’t care how much “care” they take to avoid “collateral damage”–it still fucking happens, and what’s more, the reason behind it is not clear, nor is it just. Why don’t they question the validity of their mission? I do all the time.

9. David Fucking Frost. Do I believe he should have been acquitted? Hell no. His crass conduct throughout his sexual exploitation trial is an indicator of his true character. Plus, there’s the whole creepy Mike Danton thing. Why would Danton try to kill this thug unless there was something seriously perverted about him? There have even been recorded phone conversations indicating seriously hinky doings in their relationship. Frost needs to fuck off in the worst way!

10. Lou Fucking Dobbs. Admit it, asshole, you’re a racist. And once you’re done that–FUCK OFF!

11. Anyone who objects to my choices of persons who should fuck off–or, as usual, my saying so.