Stupid Sex Tricks: Bummer jeans for the bourgeoisie

Yes, those are jeans that unzip all down the crotch, from front of waist to back. And all down the legs, as well. They’re hideous, they’re hideously overpriced, they go from borderline obscene to actually obscene with just the pull of a zipper…and they’re apparently selling like hotcakes to the rich and clueless. Because there’s literally no bummer too big, or too pricey, for those with more money than brains.

What I want to know is, where can I get a pair of jeans that (a) look like nice, new, unfucked-with jeans, (b) fit me properly, and (c) don’t cost anywhere near $2,000?

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