WOMP, womp:
Okay, now that we’ve had our little fun at his expense, there’s a couple of things that need to be said here:
First off, Mikey, m’dude, you are NOT a “public figure”. You’re a public laughingstock; there is a difference. You put yourself out there in the most idiotic way with your “Danger and Play” blog and your how-to-rape (and get away with it) guides and your pitiable attempts to peddle muscle juice and brainfart pills. Whatever little public attention you get is negative for a reason. You’re not a star, Mikey, and you don’t deserve to be. What you deserve is a good, old-fashioned turn in the good, old-fashioned pillory so everybody can jeer and throw shit at you in the public square like they did in the good old days.
Secondly, if you didn’t want all that negative public attention (and all the splash damage you’ve done to your wife and daughter by calling down that kind of attention on yourself, for fucksakes), you really shouldn’t have tried to set the neo-Nazi bitchboys — oh sorry, Proud Boys — on Vic Berger, and Sam Seder, and whoever else you’ve been harassing and trying to get hounded out of a job. Because for one thing, those guys aren’t going to be intimidated by you or any of the boneheads you try to sic on them. For another, they’ve got actual, working knowledge of what SATIRE means. And for yet another, they’re not going to hesitate to use it on you. Even if, like Sam, they’re family guys themselves.
And, unlike you, Sam and Vic are actually GOOD at using satire. Especially on a target as dumb and shitty and utterly deserving of public contempt as yourself.
Ah, that was lovely. Especially the part where his wife cucks him off-camera. Something tells me that she doesn’t need him to “protect” her, as he’s trying to convey the impression of, after all.
She might want to dump him like his first wife did, though, because something tells me he’s too gross to live with for long.
Or just at all, really.
