When MAGAts get wrecked

This is what you get for running your mouth, fucko:

OOF. Big OOF. But even funnier, he ran out himself after the fact:

It’s a thing of beauty, considering what a jabroni move this was:

Colby Covington has chosen to brand himself as a Donald Trump fanatic, much to the delight of the easily flattered, gossamer-skinned POTUS. He wears MAGA gear to the octagon, and that’s just for starters. He is also known for what the MMA media has cautiously called his “culturally insensitive” comments, like when he said of Usman before the fight, “What has [Usman’s] family ever done for America beside serve in the federal penitentiary?”

Before the fight, Covington posted a message of support from Trump’s two potato-headed billionaire sons, and wrote, “Thank you for all the support @donaldjtrumpjr & @erictrump!!! Tonight we make fighting great again!!! This one is for The Troops and The Trumps!!!” He also pledged to bring the title to the White House after his victory.

Colby’s opponent, Kamaru Usman aka the Nigerian Nightmare, was not feeling any of this. Usman is a citizen of the United States, having emigrated to this country when he was 8 years old. By the time the fight was ready to get underway, Usman had grown enraged with this circus that put his citizenship and humanity up for debate. Before the opening round, Usman threatened to “put the wrath of every immigrant in this country” on Covington. He also said the following on Joe Rogan’s MMA podcast: “Part of what this next fight symbolizes to me is the attitude that a lot of people have towards immigrants. A lot of people forget that Americans are immigrants. People are forgetting that, to where people have this attitude, ‘We’re Americans, go back to your country. Go back.’… I always heard that growing up. I always heard that. The more I research, it’s like, ‘What? What are you talking about’?”

Then came the fight itself. Sections of the crowd played their role, chanting “USA!” between rounds. Then just as Trump cheats at golf, Covington went for low blows, eye gouges, and then whining to the refs all in order to secure victory. He fought without honor. But his biggest problem was that Usman did not get the RNC script that he was supposed to lose and bow towards Covington’s white, nativist manhood. Instead, Usman shattered Covington’s jaw. This is not an exaggeration. He reduced Covington’s jawbone to the equivalent of crushed corn chips in a bag.

Covington then, shamelessly but true to his political masters, ducked out rather than face the press. Even with a mulched jaw, this is a major breach of UFC protocol and earned the derision of other fighters.


On the plus side, however, the USA is looking greater already, no thanks to Donnie and his failsons (and their mouth-running Great White Nope). And not least of all because Usman made the following terrific point:

As for Usman, he spoke to the press following this controlled demolition of Colby Covington’s face. He was asked how it felt to have fans chanting “USA” at him, and Usman handled the query as easily as he handled his opponent.

“What you talking about?” said Usman. “They were chanting USA for me.” He then went on to say the following:

“Let’s be honest. I’ve said it time and time again: I’m more American than him. I am what it means to be an American. I’m an immigrant that came here and worked my ass off tirelessly to get to the top, and I’m still prevailing. So that’s what it means to be an American. It’s not necessarily just because you’re born here, you feel privileged is what it means to be an American. No. I told you none of these guys work harder than me. That’s what it means to be an American. I work my ass off, and I’m going to continue to work my ass off and obviously with good integrity. I don’t have to walk around like a punk and say these certain things that are going to abuse the whole country or abuse the whole world and talk about people and religions—things like that. I don’t have to. I’m going to walk with integrity because at the end of the day, I want everyone that’s watching me, every eye that’s on me, to look at me and say, ‘You know what, that’s what we want to be, that’s the example that we like.’ And so, I’m more American than him. So, when they were chanting ‘USA,’ you damn sure better believe that was because of me.”

BOOM! Mike drop.

Or, in Cheeseboy’s case, jaw drop. Ha, ha.

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