Crowdy’s getting divorced!

Oh. My. GAWD. Could my Schadenfreude get any more schadenfreudig? Yup:

And if you’re wondering why I’m so goshdarn schadenfreudig, here, have another video — one that explains the root causes of my Schadenfreude most succinctly.

Yeah. Remember when Crowdy was all loud and proud about how he and his now ex-wife-to-be abstained until they were married, and therefore, they were “doing it right”? Pepperidge Farm remembers!

And now, we find out that his “doing it right” marriage didn’t even last ten years, if the timeline he’s alluding to there is any indication. That he’s been keeping his wife’s decision to dump him a secret for something like two years now. And also, that he’s super salty because it was her idea to divorce him, and he can’t exercise any masculine veto power over it, even in the oh-so-macho and ultra-conservative state of Texas. He can leave a gun sitting out unsecured on his desktop (compensating much, Steve?), but he can’t handle the existence of drag queens, trans people, and other queer folks who are out there just living life and harming nobody. Or, apparently, the uppitiness of women who are understandably sick of his shit. (I guess it must be rough, having gotten all abstemious and sanctimonious for naught.)

Oh yeah, and he’s also getting into a feud with Candace Owens for some odd reason. And even stranger, I find myself agreeing with her, at least the part where she says he’s a bad person and in a spiral. He certainly seems to have come untethered, and not just from his sacred vows of wedlock. I mean, he’s long been pretty unmoored from reality, but whatever’s bugging him now, he seems to feel the need to use his children as human shields against the inevitable accountability that the world will hold him to. Credit where due to her for picking up on that, I guess.

But unlike Candace, I don’t think prayers are what he needs. I think he needs to have his guns and ammo removed from the house before he harms someone (even if it’s only himself), and that he needs to see a counselor. And possibly a psychiatrist, too, since he’s clearly not well. Not just due to conservatism, but just in general. I’ve never seen someone so brittle and prone to inappropriate, excessive reactions. Remember how he flipped the fuck out when Sam Seder ambushed him for a debate? Pepperidge Farm remembers:

Sorry, I can only get so amused on one day. But at the rate things are going, this might finally be the week where Crowdy truly becomes funny, if only by accident.

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