Someone please remind Harpo that he’s not Prime Minister anymore…

…because it sure looks to me like he’s forgotten:

Stephen Harper was spotted leaving the West Wing earlier today, but little is known about what the former prime minister said inside the White House.

Harper was expected to meet on Monday with Larry Kudlow — the director of the National Economic Council and U.S. President Donald Trump’s go-to economic adviser — and John Bolton, the president’s national security adviser, according to multiple sources who spoke to CBC News on the condition of anonymity.

An Associated Press photographer snapped a photo of the former Conservative leader leaving the White House, but neither Harper’s team nor the U.S. administration has responded to CBC’s requests for comment about what happened during Monday’s trip to Washington.

Harper did Tweet Monday that he looked forward to meeting with more business and government leaders “to discuss the forces shaping our future,” in a plug for his forthcoming book.

Pretty sure no one wants to buy said book, either. No wonder he’s resorting to desperate tactics to get his name in the press again.

And for those who wonder if he was invited, here’s your answer:

Harper, who now works as a consultant, personally approached the two officials for a meeting, sources told CBC News last week.

Nope. Not invited. He just showed up, and even our embassy in Washington was caught completely flat-footed. And all of Canada is palming its collective face and wishing he’d just put a sock in it. There is a reason we voted him out, after all, and it wasn’t just to get the guy with the nicer hair.

And speaking of people who need to put a sock in it, get a load of the Trudizzle’s trade minister, or as I like to call her (because she is one), Nazi Granddaughter:

Foreign Affairs Minister Chrystia Freeland said she believes Harper’s appearance on Fox News was helpful.

“When it comes to prime minister Harper, he is someone we all need to respect as the former prime minister of Canada,” she said on Friday.

No, we don’t need to respect him anymore, because he is not the PM anymore. And those of us who referred to him as ShitHead during his reign never respected him to begin with, because there was nothing there to respect. Like said: There is a reason we got rid of him. SEVERAL of them.

And frankly, nobody wants to see him coming back to stick his oar in, ever again.

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Posted in Canadian Counterpunch, Crapagandarati, Der Drumpf, Fascism Without Swastikas, Filthy Stinking Rich, Free Trade, My Ass!, Human Rights FAIL, Isn't It Ironic?, Men Who Just Don't Get It, Not So Compassionate Conservatism, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off on Someone please remind Harpo that he’s not Prime Minister anymore…

Music for a Sunday: I can represent this nation!

Happy Canada Day, whether or not you’re wildly partying.

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Posted in Canadian Counterpunch, Music for a Sunday | Comments Off on Music for a Sunday: I can represent this nation!

Jordan Peterson, loser lobster

Jordan Peterson is not only none too bright (and thus, mad that he can’t win an argument with a woman, even one without the advanced degrees), he’s also none too strong (and so couldn’t win a fight with one, even if she’s a foot shorter and fifty pounds lighter). That’s what he’s really trying to tell us here, isn’t it? At least, that’s what I was able to fish out of his word soup. He’s mad at women because they routinely outsmart him, and madder still because they could also out-fight him, and maddest of all because some women in Toronto got his actual, Nazified number. Even though they’re smaller and supposedly weaker in every way. It just makes him look like a total putz, not a Top Lobster, and he’s helpless to stop it!

And of course, he needs Camille “Waaa The Feminist Establishment Never Takes Me Seriously Because I Make Up Random Shit To Sound Smarter Than I Am, Too” Paglia to buttress his oh-so-clever thesis that Women Who Refute Me Are All Crazy Bitches, So I Am Helpless Against Them. He knows his fifteen minutes are just about up, so he’s maximizing his inanity by using an equally inane woman to back him up in it.

And to top it all off, there he is, whining on camera about being misquoted. By being quoted verbatim. BY A CAMERA.

I would feel sorry for him, but I’m too busy laughing.

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Posted in Canadian Counterpunch, Crapagandarati, Fascism Without Swastikas, Filthy Stinking Rich, Isn't It Ironic?, Karma 1, Dogma 0, Men Who Just Don't Get It, Schadenfreude, She Blinded Me With Science, Sick Frickin' Bastards, Teh Heterostoopid, The Hardcore Stupid, The United States of Amnesia, Uppity Wimmin | Comments Off on Jordan Peterson, loser lobster

Fuck Milo Yiannopoulos.

Yeah. That happened. Another day; another mass shooting. This time at a newspaper. And two days after his initial spiteful shitgibberings to the Daily Beast about how he hoped fascist death squads would come for journalists, and now that it finally happened, Milo Fucking Yiannopoulos has disingenuously denied saying it. Claims it was “misreported”.

Well, you know what? I’M NOT BUYING IT, MILO.

And frankly, you should be deported, you unrepentant fascist fuck.

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Posted in Crapagandarati, Der Drumpf, Fascism WITH Swastikas, Fascism Without Swastikas, Fine Young Cannibals, Guns, Guns, Guns, Isn't That Illegal?, Isn't That Terrorism?, The Hardcore Stupid, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off on Fuck Milo Yiannopoulos.

Q. What do MAGAts eat?

A. Chicken shit…of course!

ABC 13 WSET reports that a man was arrested by police Tuesday afternoon for throwing what appeared to be a large quantity of chicken dung at the building, which was surrounded by pro-Trump protesters as well as supporters of Virginia Senate candidate Corey Stewart (R).

Police officials told the news outlet that the man, who has not yet been identified publicly, yelled President Trump’s signature campaign slogan, “Make America Great Again,” when he threw the dung.

Welp, there’s how you Make America Great Again, in case anyone wondered. You literally throw shit at anything or anyone you don’t like, and leave it to public-sector rescue workers to clean up the mess you made!

So much for that much-vaunted “civility” of conservatives.

So much for any “civility” that we on the left can now be expected to show, too. If this is what we’re dealing with, I think we can safely throw THAT out the window.

“Civility” is a weapon that the powerful wield one-sidedly as they shit on everyone else. They expect it of others, but don’t offer any in return. And when challenged on their meanness and rudeness, they howl about how mean and rude the challengers are. We’re supposed to tolerate their intolerance, and if we don’t, we get a lecture that starts with “See, this is why nobody likes you and blah blah blah….”

Well, fuck that noise. As my best friend pointed out recently, civility is a social contract, and when one side drops their end of the bargain, the whole thing is null and void.

But what is it when the other side has never held up their end of the bargain to begin with? This chicken-shit incident may seem isolated, but it’s not. It’s emblematic of the whole way conservatives have acted to those they have oppressed since time immemorial: Petty, intolerant, mean, and stinkingly RUDE. (And that’s just on their good days; on their bad ones, they’ve been straight-up murderous.) They’ve always treated women as second-class citizens, and LGBT+ people as third-class, and non-whites as sub-human altogether. And they want an untrammelled right to go on doing so forever, too. You can’t have that without “civility”, which demands that we pretend the other side is basically okay even though it’s not.

You think we’ve come far since Jim Crow? Wrong! Lynchings are still going on, but now the “civil” so-called liberal media are too polite to point them out as such. And do you really think fascism could never happen here? Listen, the Nazis marched on Charlottesville just last year, and we all know who emboldened them…and no, it was NOT us uppity socialists and Bad Germans, with our big outspoken mouths. You have only to hear Donnie’s boorish diatribes to know exactly where they all come from, and why they suddenly feel empowered to act like the worst while still expecting to be seen and treated as the best. (Or just read the back of Melania’s cheap sweatshop-made raincoat, fergawdsakes. It reeks of the fascist-occupied part of Slovenia she grew up in.)

If you ever wondered why I no longer take comments on this blog, here’s the reason: Conservatives are all assholes. Every last one of them.

Every time one of them showed up here, it was never to engage in “reasoned debate”, whatever that might mean. It was to troll. It was to shit in my house, on my kitchen floor, and then call ME dirty for it. And sometimes there were actual brigades of them, whipped up by some hatemonger whose blog I have never seen fit to visit or attempt debate upon, for the same reason that I would never use a public toilet that’s broken and filthy, with a stall door that’s off its hinges.

I know from experience what conservatives really are, I don’t consider hate speech to be “free”, and I don’t have the stomach to pretend that chicken shit is rose petals. Fascism isn’t something separate from conservatism; it’s just conservatism taken to its logical extreme, sans gloves. And I have nothing but contempt for anyone who puts up with that nonsense, or cringes and kowtows and whines that maybe the poor maligned fascists have a point. No. No, they do not. And the one on the top of their hooded sheets doesn’t count, either.

So yeah, MAGAts, I don’t feel bad for EVER having been uncivil to any of you. I’m just sorry I haven’t done it as often as I’d have liked. You deserve to be thrown unceremoniously out of everywhere, and tolerated nowhere. The ostracism will continue, unabated and without remorse.

Fuck your feelings.

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Posted in Bullies, Confessions of a Bad German, Crapagandarati, Der Drumpf, Do As I Say..., Fascism Without Swastikas, Freeze Peach!, If You REALLY Care, Isn't It Ironic?, Isn't That Illegal?, The Hardcore Stupid, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off on Q. What do MAGAts eat?

Compare and Contrast: What systemic racism looks like in Texas

Who’s going to die for it? The answer is as obvious as black and white.

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Posted in Compare and Contrast, Isn't That Racist?, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off on Compare and Contrast: What systemic racism looks like in Texas

Conservative idiots target wrong restaurant in trolling spree

Yes, I realize that “conservative idiot” is a bit like saying “twin twin”, but pardon my redundant redundancy here. Because some nice people in Collingwood, Ontario, got slammed by some nasty gits from FAR out of town today:

An Ontario eatery has been targeted by supporters of Sarah Huckabee Sanders, who likely mistook the establishment for the Virginia restaurant the White House press secretary was asked to leave on Friday.

[…]

“Hope you go out of business you liberal trash. Clean up this dump,” commented Thomas Collins, whose Facebook profile indicates that he lives in Maryland, on Sunday.

“I wonder how long before the Red Hen slop house folds and goes bankrupt?,” wrote Albert Holland.

“Shame on you,” wrote Connie Szczepanik. “Bigots and hypocrites!”

Oh, Thomas Collins. Oh, Albert Holland. And oh, oh, oh, Connie Szczepanik. Are YOU ever going to be embarrassed when you pause in your hyperventilations and read the address of the place you just slammed. If you have any decency at all, you might want to delete your Facebook accounts, because you’re just no damn good at this Internet thing.

But don’t worry, conservatwerps. The Red Hen Restaurant isn’t going to go under just because you went and bad-mouthed another place that goes by (almost) the same name. In fact, as we speak, it’s booked solid for the next month or so. And it’s passed its most recent health inspection just fine, thanks. Looks like Donnie and Sarah’s unethical twatterings aren’t going to hurt its business in the slightest, any more than your fake bad reviews.

Meanwhile, back at the Olde Red Hen (not the one in Lexington, VA), people are rallying to support the wronged:

People from both sides of the border expressed support for The Olde Red Hen, and apologized for the abuse from others.

“Many of your comments are posted on the Wrong Red Hen! If your (sic) ever in Collingwood, Ontario, stop in, you wouldn’t be disappointed!,” wrote Sue Clements, whose Facebook profile says she lives in Collingwood. “I work at The Old Red Hen in Collingwood, This restaurant has been around for 80 years, Great food and service! Busiest place in Collingwood.”

“I apologize on behalf of my country. I hope Canadians realize this is a minority,” wrote Steve Guillot from Plano, Tex.

Trust me, Steve, we do. We know that the losers in the White House are a good three million votes less popular than the woman they still haven’t locked up. But we also know that certain minorities are very vocal, particularly when backed into an indefensible corner.

Luckily, their shit’s being cleaned up as we speak:

Business and travel review websites Yelp and TripAdvisor are combating misleading reviews of the Red Hen.

TripAdvisor has suspended new reviews, citing “a recent event that has attracted media attention and has caused an influx of review submissions that do not describe a first-hand experience.”

Yelp said it started a “cleanup process” on Saturday, noting that some posts may be removed. The Red Hen has nearly 15,000 reviews on the website. The population of Lexington, Va. is 7,042, according to 2010 census figures.

And meanwhile, Donnie might seriously want to hold off on the trollish brigade-leading when his own properties keep getting hell from the health inspector:

Maybe some nice folks out there would like to Yelp on Mar-a-Lago and that shitty eatery in Drumpf’s Dump Tower, eh?

Oh. Wait.

Ha, ha. Sad!

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Posted in Bullies, Canadian Counterpunch, Crapagandarati, Der Drumpf, Fascism Without Swastikas, Filthy Stinking Rich, Good to Know, Isn't It Ironic?, Not So Compassionate Conservatism, Schadenfreude, The Hardcore Stupid, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off on Conservative idiots target wrong restaurant in trolling spree

Music for a Sunday: One for all the dateless Drumpfites…

…and for all the higher-ups who can no longer dine out without getting booed…or booted out:

Seriously, folks, these people are hurtin’…and I’m laughin’.

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Posted in Der Drumpf, Fascism Without Swastikas, Fine Young Cannibals, Isn't It Ironic?, Karma 1, Dogma 0, Music for a Sunday, Schadenfreude | Comments Off on Music for a Sunday: One for all the dateless Drumpfites…

A well-deserved booing

First, here’s what this evil woman did to deserve it:

And here is what she got for it:

Yup, Donnie’s homeland security secretary got mike-checked…at a Mexican restaurant. Which she fully deserved. Imagine, going to rub it in Mexicans’ faces that she could get any one of them deported at any time. Little does she realize that restaurant workers, Mexican or otherwise, fear the local health inspector a lot more than they would the likes of HER. And less still does she realize that the Democratic Socialists are onto her, just as they were onto MILO FUCKING ALL CAPS, and fully prepared to shame her out of there.

And it wasn’t just HER, either…get a load of who ELSE got booed out by brave people of good conscience, just exercising their First Amendment rights:

Ach, du liebe Schadenfreude! Could a booing be any more richly deserved?

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Posted in Der Drumpf, Fascism Without Swastikas, Fine Young Cannibals, Human Rights FAIL, Isn't It Ironic?, Karma 1, Dogma 0, Mexican Standoffs, Not So Compassionate Conservatism, Schadenfreude, Sick Frickin' Bastards, The Bold and the Badass, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off on A well-deserved booing

Todd Starnes, hypocritical turdpile

Oh, you think I’m exaggerating? Listen to this and see for yourself:

Yeah, that’s right…the sack of shit behind the FUX Snooze radio desk actually said that.

Meanwhile, by way of contrast, here’s what he said about a much less serious human-rights issue presided over by Donnie Drumpf’s predecessor, four years ago:

A government-contracted security force threatened to arrest doctors and nurses if they divulged any information about the contagion threat at a refugee camp housing illegal alien children at Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio, Texas, sources say.

Oh look, the infamous FUX Snooze “sources say”. What were the odds of THAT happening? And of course, they’re all conveniently anonymous, because there’s just no way a famously fibby “Christian” like Toddy would ever lie to us:

“There were several of us who wanted to talk about the camps, but the agents made it clear we would be arrested,” a psychiatric counselor told me. “We were under orders not to say anything.”

The sources said workers were guarded by a security force from the BCFS, which the Department of Health and Human Services hired to run the Lackland Camp.

The sources say security forces called themselves the “Brown Shirts.”

“It was a very submissive atmosphere,” the counselor said. “Once you stepped onto the grounds, you abided by their laws – the Brown Shirt laws.”

She said the workers were stripped of their cellphones and other communication devices. Anyone caught with a phone was immediately fired.

Hmmmm, that last bit sounds rather familiar. Where have I heard this before? Oh wait, I heard it rather recently. Only…it was Donnie’s so-called government forbidding any reporting on the conditions of HIS concentration camps!

Notice, too, how nothing got done to corroborate this scare story? Because everything “sources say”, true or not, is sacred as long as it adheres to FUX’s line of bullshit.

And get a load of how the “pro-life” FUX Snoozer characterizes the situation, too:

“Everyone was paranoid,” she said. “The children had more rights than the workers.”

Welcome to FUX Snooze’s Amurrica, where “life” is the only right children have…and only if they’re “pre-born”. And white. Heaven forfend that already-born, non-white children should have any rights at all!

“We have so many kids coming in that there was no way to control all of the sickness – all this stuff coming into the country,” she said. “We were very concerned at one point about strep going around the base.”

Oh for fuck’s sake, lady…you’re a medical professional, and you don’t know how to take basic precautions against contagious diseases spreading? What school graduated YOU? A diploma mill? Trump U?

Yeah, folks, this is one of those “sources” who “say” the most convenient things. Fair and Balanced, don’tcha know?

Here’s another one:

The nurse said the lice issue was epidemic – but everything was kept “hush-hush.”

“You could see the bugs crawling through their hair,” she said. “After we would rinse out their hair, the sink would be loaded with black bugs.”

Uh, human head lice aren’t black. They’re pale-colored, and they don’t just “rinse out”. They’re also commonplace even in the “best” schools, both public and private. Lots of otherwise clean, healthy kids get them, and get rid of them with a little help from Mom, a fine-tooth comb, and a bottle of special shampoo. They’re an itchy nuisance, but they’re nothing to get alarmed about; they don’t spread diseases. But of course, this IS what Toddy-boy chose to seize upon, in his predictable distasteful manner…

The nurse told me she became especially alarmed because their files indicated the children had been transported to Lackland on domestic charter buses and airplanes.

“That’s what alerted me,” she said. “Oh, my God. They’re flying these kids around. Nobody knows that these children have scabies and lice. To tell you the truth, there’s no way to control it.”

I don’t mean to upset anyone’s Independence Day vacation plans, but were these kids transported to the camps before or after they were deloused? Anyone who flies the friendly skies could be facing a public health concern.

Thanks for your concern trolling, Todd, but I don’t recall seeing anything in the news about a sudden, mysterious head-lice outbreak among airline travellers that year. Did you? Ever?

And really, what a question to ask of your readers. You should have asked it yourself…of your “sources”. Who, even though they are supposedly medical professionals, don’t know how to control an alleged outbreak of…well, ANYTHING. The fact that you didn’t, means you’re not even a shitty journalist; it means you’re not a journalist at all. You’re a crapagandist, and you’re just making it up as you go along. For all I know, you could have made up those magically talkative “sources”, too. Nowhere else but on FUX Snooze, the brainchild of the murderers of the Fairness Doctrine, did I ever read anything about a brave soul who kept a sooper-seekwit “journal” of the Obama Administration’s evil camps of horror:

The counselor kept a detailed journal about what happened during her tenure at the facility.

“When people read that journal they are going to be astonished,” she said. ‘I don’t think they will believe what is going on in America.”

So it was not a great surprise, she said, when she received a call from federal agents demanding that she return to the military base and hand over her journal.

She said she declined to do so.

“I didn’t go back to Lackland,” she said.

And yet, these mysterious “Brown Shirts” didn’t go after her to arrest her or force her to turn it over? Some fascist thugs they turned out to be!

And of course, late in the game, the real story comes dribbling out: They’re just an “incident management” team, and their shirts are tan, not brown. The only actually named person in the article divulges that inconvenient truth, along with a few others:

BCFS spokeswoman Krista Piferrer tells me the agency takes “any allegation of malfeasance or inappropriate care of a child very seriously.”

[…]

Piferrer said the clinicians are supervised by a federal field specialist from HHS’s Office of Refugee Resettlement. She also said BCFS have 58 medical professionals serving at Lackland.

“Every illness, whether it is a headache or something more serious, is recorded in a child’s electronic medical record and posted on WebEOC – a real-time, web-based platform that is visible to not only BCFS but the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services,” she said.

As for those brown shirts, the BCFS said they are “incident management team personnel” – who happen to wear tan shirts.

You have to get to the very bottom of the scare-mongering before you find that out, though. And from what I’ve seen, FUX Snooze’s target audience doesn’t have that long an attention span, nor do they appreciate an inconvenient detail that deflates their insta-outrage.

But of course, Todd still finds a way to spin it to his own advantage, by giving his unnamed “sources” the last word:

My sources say Americans should be very concerned about the secrecy of the government camps.

“This is just the beginning,” one source told me. “It is a long-term financial responsibility.”

What? Health and welfare cost money? You don’t say!

This is so hilariously dumb, it just has me rolling my eyeballs across the Universe. We Canadians don’t normally complain about our taxes paying for each other’s healthcare (shit, I’m proud to pay, even for the fucking Conservatives!), but these southern-fried hamhocks make a stink about every last penny (and it probably IS just pennies on the average US-American’s privatized healthcare dollar) that the government spent to make sure refugee claimants got their minor health emergencies looked after before moving them to be resettled. Wow!

And heaven forfend they should have to look at those people (who, as Sam Seder correctly points out, are the victims of the US government’s long-standing, odious LatAm policies). Perish forbid that they should ever even meet one, but then they turn around and come out with some wild-ass Alex Jones shit that the government is running “secret camps” with “brown shirt” guards!

But that was only a sin when Obama did it.

And hey, at least Donnie’s not “gassing” them, right, Mr. Delousing — I mean Starnes? He’s just ripping them away from their parents, calling them vermin, using them as pawns to force others to build and patrol his still-nonexistent border wall, drugging them, “losing” them by the hundreds, and then blaming his own mean-ass, doomed-to-fail policies on “laws” passed by his predecessors.

Move along, folks, nothing to see here.

And nothing to hear, either.

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Posted in Canadian Counterpunch, Compare and Contrast, Crapagandarati, Der Drumpf, Economics for Dummies, Fascism Without Swastikas, Fetus Fetishists, Filthy Stinking Rich, Freeze Peach!, Human Rights FAIL, Isn't It Ironic?, Isn't That Illegal?, Isn't That Racist?, Newspeak is Nospeak, Obamarama!, Sick Frickin' Bastards, The Hardcore Stupid, The Salvador Option(s), The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off on Todd Starnes, hypocritical turdpile