Who’s yer daddy?

That question is rhetorical, BTW. It took two days to get the final count in the Venezuelan election, but it’s a whoppa:

President Hugo Chavez has been declared the winner of Venezuela’s presidential election in a ceremony in the capital.

Mr Chavez received nearly 63% of the final vote, 25 points ahead of his main rival, Manuel Rosales.

Addressing supporters in Caracas, he said there would be complete freedom of expression and political participation during his next six-year term.

He praised his opponents for accepting defeat, and said his win showed support for a radical turn towards socialism.

“Those who voted for me didn’t vote for me. They voted for the socialist plan, to build a profoundly different Venezuela,” Mr Chavez said.

“The path of this republic is a revolution, a democratic revolution, a social revolution, a political revolution, an economic revolution,” he said.

The final results showed Mr Chavez won 7.2 million votes out of about 12 million cast. During his campaign, he said he aimed to poll 10 million votes.

25 points ahead of Rosales? Ouch, that’s gotta hurt–especially for one who arrogantly campaigned on the slogan that he was the choice of all 26 million Venezuelans, not the 10 Chavecito was aiming for–and this while simultaneously referring to Chavez supporters as “parasites” AND at the same time, trying explicitly to buy their votes with the “Mi Negra” card. (There’s also a hilarious video out there of him kissing an actual “negra” and wiping his mouth immediately afterward.) Yup, Rosalito now has some idea of what it feels like to be toast. Even Zulia, his home state, went overwhelmingly rojo-rojito for Chavecito. This despite all the money the US has been pumping into an anti-Chavez “separatist movement” there. If I were him, I’d be looking over my shoulder during the next round of gubernatorial elections.

But you know who’s hurting worse? Someone in Washington surely has a red ass tonight…

US Ambassador William Brownfield congratulated Venezuelans on a peaceful ballot, and voiced Washington’s willingness to seek a less fractious relationship with Mr Chavez.

“The president was re-elected by the decision of the Venezuelan people,” Mr Brownfield said in a radio interview on Tuesday.

“We recognise that and we’re ready, willing and eager to explore and see if we can make progress on bilateral issues.”

While the US is the most voracious consumer of Venezuelan oil, tensions have often precluded dialogue between the two nations.

Mr Chavez accuses Washington of backing a 2002 coup against him and has referred to President George W Bush as “Mr Danger” and “the devil”.

Something tells me Brownfield is about to be called home and on the carpet. He’s not supposed to make nice to Chavecito, he’s supposed to be ramping up to the next coup like his predecessor Charles Shapiro did, at least before HIS ass was called home out of sheer embarrassment (probably at his miserable failure, not his undiplomatic romping with Pedro the Brief.)

But back to Rosalito…it really is too priceless:

President Chavez – who won elections in both 1998 and 2000 – triumphed after a campaign in which he characterised his rival as a lackey of the US.

Mr Chavez has vowed to boost the social programmes that have won him support among millions of impoverished Venezuelans.

He is also expected to reform the Venezuelan constitution to remove limits on how many times he can be re-elected, enabling him to run again in 2012.

And we know now, considering the overwhelming mandate Chavecito got, that this amendment will pass public muster in a big, BIG way. And you know what that means, eh kiddies? Yup–Rosalito, or anyone else who tries to run as Washington’s man in Caracas, will get solidly thumped for as long as Chavecito can draw breath in those capacious lungs of his.

Who’s yer daddy, Bushie?

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